Blaxploitation movies from the 1970s are not exactly great source material to cross-reference to the world of sports. However, one such flick contains scenes that are eerily transferable to sports — namely college football.
That movie is "The Mack," the 1973 blaxploitation masterpiece starring Max Julien, Richard Pryor and Roger E. Mosley — "T.C." from "Magnum, P.I."
At first glance, it seems to be a tad bit contrived that someone can draw parallels between college football and a 35-year-old movie where the protagonist was an ex-con who turned to the world’s oldest profession after he served a 5-year stint in the slammer.
Upon further review, and given the fact that America has reached the climax of the recruiting season, the similarities are striking. The following features scenarios from the actual movie, and a translation as it relates to the world of college football.
For more information on "The Mack," check out the Internet Movie Database web site (www.imdb.com), rent/buy a copy, or watch clips of it on YouTube.
Let’s take, for instance, the scene where John "Goldie" Mickens, played by Julien, and his mentor are having a conversation in a pool hall after Mickens returned to his old neighborhood. The mentor told Mickens that he was one of the best people on his staff and he hated to lose him. The mentor goes on to give Mickens some advice about setting out on his own and how to handle recruits.
The conversation Goldie had with his mentor can easily be transposed upon any college football coach, especially in a BCS conference. The mentor told Goldie that he has to go out and recruit the best talent, and if he does it right, the pockets of Mickens’ pants would appear to have the mumps because of the large sums of money he will be earning.
With that in mind, what has been one of the oldest sayings about a college football coach? Well, that would be that a coach is only as good as the talent he recruits. A coach has to recruit the talent that will help him achieve success frequently. The better the talent means the better chances of winning, which increases the chances of making more money in the future.
All coaches have to have a special type of personality that will win over recruits. Mickens possessed that, and a lot of your top recruiters — like the ironically-named Mack Brown, Pete Carroll, Les Miles and others — have that personality as well. Like Goldie, these men have to possess a supreme confidence in their abilities and their systems in order for potential recruits to buy into it.
As Mickens put it, coaches have to feel that they’re going to rewrite the record books and they will be the new kings of the block. They have to believe that they will get the best high school and juco talent available, get the facilities upgrades to entice them to come and mix it all up to produce a winning program.
Goldie tells one recruit that they can go all the way to the top while assuring said recruit that he would be a friend a father figure. Mickens also asks the recruit to believe in him and believe that everything he tells the recruit to do is in their mutual best interests.
Now does that sound like what a coach would tell a recruit, or what?
Mickens also holds a "weekend visit" with potential recruits, selling them on the benefits of joining his teams. One can easily picture a coach standing in front of a group of potential recruits telling them that his team is built like a family with everyone playing a major role in that family’s success. The rewards for helping the family will be great, including conference championships, playoff runs or a bowl game.
However, there’s a serious side to the college football game as well. The folks at the NCAA do not take too kindly to things like "lack of institutional control" and "improper benefits" while shrugging off any notion that student-athletes be paid. Just check out what one of Mickens’ rivals, Pretty Tony, said about his players getting paid.
"Wake up one morning with some money, they’re subject to go crazy," Tony said.
Most coaches feel the exact same way. Tony, and other coaches, understand the headaches a controversy with a player can do to their program — as well as their pay checks. Don’t believe it? Then go ask new Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt about the whole Mitch Mustain saga that hounded him during his last season at Arkansas. He would probably say, like Pretty Tony said in the movie, that he has lawyers and he makes too much money to take such nonsense.
Also, picture how the coaches are all fawning over Pennsylvania quarterback sensation Terrelle Pryor. All of these coaches are doing the best to make Pryor choose one of them — just like Goldie, Pretty Tony and others try to get their recruits to choose.
Whoever gets Pryor, or any other highly-coveted prepster or juco sensation, will probably tell their rival coaches that they understand the rules of the game and their prospect just chose them. Have some class or get into something a little bit messier — like the whole Phil Fulmer/Alabama/Albert Means fiasco.
Not that much difference between 1970s cinema fiction and real life, is there?
Friday, February 08, 2008
Sunday, July 15, 2007
A few notes from Fred getting tested for HIV (I'm negative, folks)
First things first, I took one of those oral swab HIV tests. The result (which I had a damned good feeling) was that I'm HIV negative. So I guess, like that old BET ad campaign, there's peace of mind in knowing.
But that's probably the side note to the whole thing. My girlfriend's church was sponsoring free HIV testing for people in the community. She talked me into getting tested and we share results (she's HIV negative, also). At first, I thought the idea was a novel one, but as I read the form the counselors had to fill out, it had me thinking that this was an on-the-slick way to see if I was being truly honest and faithful, but that's later.
Ironically, the first T-shirt that I grabbed was a khaki number with the phrase "I'm right. You're wrong. Any more questions?" plastered in big orange or (urnge) letters. The sky was dark and rain was falling down (maybe because I was on holy ground for the first time in a minute)and here I was waiting to get tested. My g/f was running around doing other things at the church.
So it's my time to go and the first question the counselor asked me on the form was "when was the last time you had sex with another man?" That questioned floored me, not because of the disbelief that I was getting asked that questioned, but because IT WAS THE FIRST FRIGGIN QUESTION OUT OF THE GATE. My first response was supposed to be, "Man do I look like JL King up in here? I don't play with that Chuck-n-Billy mess. I likes the ladies."...But the recently-devleoped filter from brain to mouth translated that response to "No."
The other questions were like how many sexual parterns I had in the last 12 months, intravenous drug usage and those other type questions.
But I passed the test, and I felt like doing the cupid shuffle, well not exactly, but there was a dude that went before me. His test was negative and his response...
"Ah yeah. I'mma wear this on my chest in the club so these girls know what the deal is with me."
But that's probably the side note to the whole thing. My girlfriend's church was sponsoring free HIV testing for people in the community. She talked me into getting tested and we share results (she's HIV negative, also). At first, I thought the idea was a novel one, but as I read the form the counselors had to fill out, it had me thinking that this was an on-the-slick way to see if I was being truly honest and faithful, but that's later.
Ironically, the first T-shirt that I grabbed was a khaki number with the phrase "I'm right. You're wrong. Any more questions?" plastered in big orange or (urnge) letters. The sky was dark and rain was falling down (maybe because I was on holy ground for the first time in a minute)and here I was waiting to get tested. My g/f was running around doing other things at the church.
So it's my time to go and the first question the counselor asked me on the form was "when was the last time you had sex with another man?" That questioned floored me, not because of the disbelief that I was getting asked that questioned, but because IT WAS THE FIRST FRIGGIN QUESTION OUT OF THE GATE. My first response was supposed to be, "Man do I look like JL King up in here? I don't play with that Chuck-n-Billy mess. I likes the ladies."...But the recently-devleoped filter from brain to mouth translated that response to "No."
The other questions were like how many sexual parterns I had in the last 12 months, intravenous drug usage and those other type questions.
But I passed the test, and I felt like doing the cupid shuffle, well not exactly, but there was a dude that went before me. His test was negative and his response...
"Ah yeah. I'mma wear this on my chest in the club so these girls know what the deal is with me."
Saturday, June 23, 2007
SLANT-N-GO: Pacman and McMahon
NFL commissioner Roger Goddell may have a much-younger kindred spirit in the 10-year-old son of local resident Myrtle Johnson.
Johnson said her son needed to take medication after watching World Wrestling Entertainment chairman Vince McMahon "get killed" in an exploding limousine at the end of "Monday Night Raw" two weeks ago.
Goddell probably had to take medication after suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones somehow is entangled in another shooting incident, this one in the wee hours of last Monday after a fight in a suburban Atlanta strip club.
At first glance, McMahon's death hoax and Jones' latest involvement with law enforcement seem to be on opposite sides of the reality spectrum. McMahon's case is just another despicable display of poor taste to boost ratings while Jones' case is just another episode of his now-legendary lack of judgment.
Matter of fact, it is poor taste and lack of judgment that make these two seemingly opposite people very similar.
McMahon is the third-generation wrestling promoter that made the change from "rasslin'" to "sports entertainment" to keep his company from sporting events regulated by various state athletic commissions — avoiding commission fees and license costs in the process. He built his empire by taking over smaller territorial companies in the early 1980s in his own version of manifest destiny.
He then pushed it into the national landscape with the help of cartoonish characters that bordered on the ridiculous, but partly based on stereotypes. The characters and storylines took a turn during the last 15 years as storylines became more offensive and violent, featuring a dose of misogyny mixed in with the "Mr. McMahon" character's various abuses of power.
The June 11 episode of Raw was billed, ironically, as "Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night." Last Monday's episode somehow mocked the WWE's own coverage of deaths like Owen Hart's in 1999 and Eddie Guerrero's in 2005 as it focused on the "death" of the Mr. McMahon character, going as far as saying federal investigators were looking into the incident. WWE programming also gave passing mention to the recent death of New Orleans native, and 2006 WWE Hall of Fame inductee, Sherri Martel.
By the way, letters from WWE stockholders have been showing up on websites dedicated to covering the sports entertainment industry voicing their displeasure at the McMahon death hoax. A CNBC commentator also pondered if the hoax violates a portion of the Securities and Exchange Act, which would bring about real federal action if it was indeed a violation.
Pacman Jones, who is not related to ESPN.com writer Bomani Jones, pushed himself into the national spotlight with a cool retro nickname and his dramatic kick and interception returns while playing for former Tulane assistant Rich Rodriguez at West Virginia. Pacman experienced heartache as a child. His father was shot and killed when he was 10-years-old, leaving his mother and grandmother to raise him in the Altanta suburb of College Park. His grandmother succumbed to cancer during his freshman year with the Mountaineers, and the game he missed to attend the funeral was the only one he missed during his 3-year stint at West Virginia. He was even on the academic honor roll.
Jones, who brought the strip club slang "making it rain" to the national lexicon, was charged with two counts of felony coercion stemming from the now-infamous NBA All-Star weekend rainfest at a Las Vegas strip club that turned into a fight that came before a triple shooting. The shooting left one bar employee paralyzed and two others with less serious wounds.
In other news, Jones made it rain in Vegas again early Friday. He dropped $20,000 into the Clark County coffers — $10,000 for each charge — as he surrendered to authorities and posted bond. He also made a change, cutting off his dreadlocks for the mug shot. Ironically, Jones ‘‘was in and out around 2 a.m.,’’ said Lt. Jason Letkiewicz, a Las Vegas police watch commander.
Columnists and TV personalities also like to poke fun at the fact that Jones has more arrests (six) than interceptions (four) since being taken with the sixth-overall pick in the 2005 NFL draft.
McMahon and Jones each did a little bit of violating with their respective transgressions. McMahon violated the trust of a 10-year-old child that believed he was being entertained until that limo went kaboom. Everyone knows the outcomes are predetermined, but people respect the performers for their toughness, athleticism and ability to entertain. However, try explaining to a 10-year-old who "loves rasslin’" the difference between Mr. McMahon getting blown up in a limo on TV while Vincent Kennedy McMahon is still alive and well at this moment.
Jones violated the trust of Goddell after telling him he was going to take his 1-year suspension like a man and work to improve his image in order to be reinstated. The NFL would have reviewed that possibility as early as the Titans' 10th game, but that is probably out of the window now. Jones somehow became the poster boy for bad behavior in professional sports with his constant run-ins with the law. Goddell probably hoped Jones kept his nose clean in order not to get to that next step of possibly banning Pacman from the league, but Jones just could not keep his butt out of the strip club or keep his "posse" in check for him not to get into trouble.
By the way, only middle-aged, out-of-touch writers would refer to an athlete and the gaggle of folks around him as a "posse." That is so "Arsenio Hall Show."
Nevertheless, all that remains is the trauma and tears of a 10-year-old rasslin' fan and a half-empty bottle of headache medicine for the NFL commissioner. All thanks to two men that suffer from an obvious lack of judgment and good taste. Heck, they make a great tag team.
Johnson said her son needed to take medication after watching World Wrestling Entertainment chairman Vince McMahon "get killed" in an exploding limousine at the end of "Monday Night Raw" two weeks ago.
Goddell probably had to take medication after suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones somehow is entangled in another shooting incident, this one in the wee hours of last Monday after a fight in a suburban Atlanta strip club.
At first glance, McMahon's death hoax and Jones' latest involvement with law enforcement seem to be on opposite sides of the reality spectrum. McMahon's case is just another despicable display of poor taste to boost ratings while Jones' case is just another episode of his now-legendary lack of judgment.
Matter of fact, it is poor taste and lack of judgment that make these two seemingly opposite people very similar.
McMahon is the third-generation wrestling promoter that made the change from "rasslin'" to "sports entertainment" to keep his company from sporting events regulated by various state athletic commissions — avoiding commission fees and license costs in the process. He built his empire by taking over smaller territorial companies in the early 1980s in his own version of manifest destiny.
He then pushed it into the national landscape with the help of cartoonish characters that bordered on the ridiculous, but partly based on stereotypes. The characters and storylines took a turn during the last 15 years as storylines became more offensive and violent, featuring a dose of misogyny mixed in with the "Mr. McMahon" character's various abuses of power.
The June 11 episode of Raw was billed, ironically, as "Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night." Last Monday's episode somehow mocked the WWE's own coverage of deaths like Owen Hart's in 1999 and Eddie Guerrero's in 2005 as it focused on the "death" of the Mr. McMahon character, going as far as saying federal investigators were looking into the incident. WWE programming also gave passing mention to the recent death of New Orleans native, and 2006 WWE Hall of Fame inductee, Sherri Martel.
By the way, letters from WWE stockholders have been showing up on websites dedicated to covering the sports entertainment industry voicing their displeasure at the McMahon death hoax. A CNBC commentator also pondered if the hoax violates a portion of the Securities and Exchange Act, which would bring about real federal action if it was indeed a violation.
Pacman Jones, who is not related to ESPN.com writer Bomani Jones, pushed himself into the national spotlight with a cool retro nickname and his dramatic kick and interception returns while playing for former Tulane assistant Rich Rodriguez at West Virginia. Pacman experienced heartache as a child. His father was shot and killed when he was 10-years-old, leaving his mother and grandmother to raise him in the Altanta suburb of College Park. His grandmother succumbed to cancer during his freshman year with the Mountaineers, and the game he missed to attend the funeral was the only one he missed during his 3-year stint at West Virginia. He was even on the academic honor roll.
Jones, who brought the strip club slang "making it rain" to the national lexicon, was charged with two counts of felony coercion stemming from the now-infamous NBA All-Star weekend rainfest at a Las Vegas strip club that turned into a fight that came before a triple shooting. The shooting left one bar employee paralyzed and two others with less serious wounds.
In other news, Jones made it rain in Vegas again early Friday. He dropped $20,000 into the Clark County coffers — $10,000 for each charge — as he surrendered to authorities and posted bond. He also made a change, cutting off his dreadlocks for the mug shot. Ironically, Jones ‘‘was in and out around 2 a.m.,’’ said Lt. Jason Letkiewicz, a Las Vegas police watch commander.
Columnists and TV personalities also like to poke fun at the fact that Jones has more arrests (six) than interceptions (four) since being taken with the sixth-overall pick in the 2005 NFL draft.
McMahon and Jones each did a little bit of violating with their respective transgressions. McMahon violated the trust of a 10-year-old child that believed he was being entertained until that limo went kaboom. Everyone knows the outcomes are predetermined, but people respect the performers for their toughness, athleticism and ability to entertain. However, try explaining to a 10-year-old who "loves rasslin’" the difference between Mr. McMahon getting blown up in a limo on TV while Vincent Kennedy McMahon is still alive and well at this moment.
Jones violated the trust of Goddell after telling him he was going to take his 1-year suspension like a man and work to improve his image in order to be reinstated. The NFL would have reviewed that possibility as early as the Titans' 10th game, but that is probably out of the window now. Jones somehow became the poster boy for bad behavior in professional sports with his constant run-ins with the law. Goddell probably hoped Jones kept his nose clean in order not to get to that next step of possibly banning Pacman from the league, but Jones just could not keep his butt out of the strip club or keep his "posse" in check for him not to get into trouble.
By the way, only middle-aged, out-of-touch writers would refer to an athlete and the gaggle of folks around him as a "posse." That is so "Arsenio Hall Show."
Nevertheless, all that remains is the trauma and tears of a 10-year-old rasslin' fan and a half-empty bottle of headache medicine for the NFL commissioner. All thanks to two men that suffer from an obvious lack of judgment and good taste. Heck, they make a great tag team.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
SLANT-N-GO: mini-camp, mega-madness
METAIRIE, La.—Remember the mall concert madness of the late 1980s through early 1990s? You know, the thousands of screaming fans with T-shirts, hats and posters cramming into the food court or some other small space to see some young up-and-coming teen heartthrob send mall security into DEFCON 1?
Well, the New Orleans Saints' facility had that same energy during its mini-camp a week ago. Hundreds of people lined the street between the Saints home base and Zephyr Field while hundreds more looked both ways before running across Airline Highway, oops, Airline Drive just to get a chance to see the defending NFC South champs and soon-to-be trendy pick to represent the NFC in Super Bowl XLII Feb. 3, 2008 at University of Phoenix Stadium.
This experience was a totally new one for me. I've covered the mini-camp last season and spent part of a day last fall in Jackson, Miss., for training camp at Millsaps College. It is one thing to cover the NFL as a member of the media, but its a whole other world watching it from a fan's point-of-view.
In a nutshell, watching the NFL as a reporter and then watching it as a regular spectator is sort of like flipping the channel from "Larry King Live" to "Total Request Live." Sure, the nice little media tag grants a good deal of access to the workouts and the players but the atmosphere is just stolid, business-like, and down right cold. That atmosphere is a not-so-subtle reminder of why some people call the NFL the "No Fun League."
On the other hand, the fans were what Southeastern head football coach Mike Lucas would call "crunked up." I arrived at the Saints facility about 45 minutes before the gates opened, and you could see just driving by the long line of would-be spectators that they were just getting warmed up.
The fans brought their energy and enthusiasm to the place — along with enough Saints paraphernalia to devote a good 2-hour block on either QVC or the Home Shopping Network. They came with their photographs, jerseys, footballs, mini- and full-sized replica helmets and just about anything else under the sun in the hopes that their favorite guy in black and gold puts their John Hancock on it.
I made that drive from Baton Rouge to Metairie with my 15-, 13- and 11-year old nephews thinking we would get there early enough to cop a good spot amongst the throngs of Saints faithful. WRONG!!! The traffic on Airline robbed me of a good 10 minutes, enough to put my group at least four football fields away from the gate to enter. Fellow Daily Star employee Tammy Pierson and her son saw me pass by, but they were in a far better position that my group was.
Enough about the celebrity sightings, let's get back to this experience. Saints officials opened the gate to the public around 9 a.m., and the fans were rushing in there like the Saints facility was a Foot Locker in the mid-90s and a new version of Air Jordans were just getting put on the shelves. Thousands of fans, along with this casual onlooker with puzzled nephews, swamped the area set aside for spectators and waited for nearly an hour before the first wave of Saints players jogged out for workouts.
A group of guys sitting around midfield started to belt out that familiar "Who Dat" chant, and the call-and-response spread quickly throughout the crowd. My nephews looked at me with some confusion, and I just told them to just sit back and enjoy the show.
It started to startle me when the crowd started chanting different things at the sight of different players.
When Deuce McAlister strolled out, the crowd broke out its "Deuce" chant. You know, the one where everybody yells out "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!" whenever he gets the ball.
When Reggie Bush jogged out, that "REG-GIE! "REG-GIE" chant was as loud as the one he got before he broke that punt return for a TD against Tampa Bay in the Dome.
When Drew Brees came out, these two little kids just kept screaming his last name. They did this for about 30 minutes nonstop, trying to get the starting QB to acknowledge them while warming up. All they did in 30 minutes was drive me crazy. In fact, that's what all of the fans did.
The media guy in me wanted to get on a megaphone and say "Look, y'all. It's just mini-camp. It's not preseason. It's not mid-October. It's mini-camp in June." However, acting out on that thought would have gotten me branded a Saints hater and then probably would have received the beating of my life from the overexuberant Saints faithful.
So here's this media guy in fans clothing, hearing the "oohs" and "aahs" of the crowd as the team went into coverage drills pitting the DBs against the WRs. Ironically, I saw Robert Meachem running — albeit just as briefly as the Saints brass saw him run as well. I thought to myself what just was the payoff from me sitting out in the heat with thousands of diehards.
Well, the payoff was the joy on my 13- and 11-year old nephews' faces as they walked away with their T-shirts covered with autographs from some of their favorite players.
And that was well worth the headache.
Well, the New Orleans Saints' facility had that same energy during its mini-camp a week ago. Hundreds of people lined the street between the Saints home base and Zephyr Field while hundreds more looked both ways before running across Airline Highway, oops, Airline Drive just to get a chance to see the defending NFC South champs and soon-to-be trendy pick to represent the NFC in Super Bowl XLII Feb. 3, 2008 at University of Phoenix Stadium.
This experience was a totally new one for me. I've covered the mini-camp last season and spent part of a day last fall in Jackson, Miss., for training camp at Millsaps College. It is one thing to cover the NFL as a member of the media, but its a whole other world watching it from a fan's point-of-view.
In a nutshell, watching the NFL as a reporter and then watching it as a regular spectator is sort of like flipping the channel from "Larry King Live" to "Total Request Live." Sure, the nice little media tag grants a good deal of access to the workouts and the players but the atmosphere is just stolid, business-like, and down right cold. That atmosphere is a not-so-subtle reminder of why some people call the NFL the "No Fun League."
On the other hand, the fans were what Southeastern head football coach Mike Lucas would call "crunked up." I arrived at the Saints facility about 45 minutes before the gates opened, and you could see just driving by the long line of would-be spectators that they were just getting warmed up.
The fans brought their energy and enthusiasm to the place — along with enough Saints paraphernalia to devote a good 2-hour block on either QVC or the Home Shopping Network. They came with their photographs, jerseys, footballs, mini- and full-sized replica helmets and just about anything else under the sun in the hopes that their favorite guy in black and gold puts their John Hancock on it.
I made that drive from Baton Rouge to Metairie with my 15-, 13- and 11-year old nephews thinking we would get there early enough to cop a good spot amongst the throngs of Saints faithful. WRONG!!! The traffic on Airline robbed me of a good 10 minutes, enough to put my group at least four football fields away from the gate to enter. Fellow Daily Star employee Tammy Pierson and her son saw me pass by, but they were in a far better position that my group was.
Enough about the celebrity sightings, let's get back to this experience. Saints officials opened the gate to the public around 9 a.m., and the fans were rushing in there like the Saints facility was a Foot Locker in the mid-90s and a new version of Air Jordans were just getting put on the shelves. Thousands of fans, along with this casual onlooker with puzzled nephews, swamped the area set aside for spectators and waited for nearly an hour before the first wave of Saints players jogged out for workouts.
A group of guys sitting around midfield started to belt out that familiar "Who Dat" chant, and the call-and-response spread quickly throughout the crowd. My nephews looked at me with some confusion, and I just told them to just sit back and enjoy the show.
It started to startle me when the crowd started chanting different things at the sight of different players.
When Deuce McAlister strolled out, the crowd broke out its "Deuce" chant. You know, the one where everybody yells out "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!" whenever he gets the ball.
When Reggie Bush jogged out, that "REG-GIE! "REG-GIE" chant was as loud as the one he got before he broke that punt return for a TD against Tampa Bay in the Dome.
When Drew Brees came out, these two little kids just kept screaming his last name. They did this for about 30 minutes nonstop, trying to get the starting QB to acknowledge them while warming up. All they did in 30 minutes was drive me crazy. In fact, that's what all of the fans did.
The media guy in me wanted to get on a megaphone and say "Look, y'all. It's just mini-camp. It's not preseason. It's not mid-October. It's mini-camp in June." However, acting out on that thought would have gotten me branded a Saints hater and then probably would have received the beating of my life from the overexuberant Saints faithful.
So here's this media guy in fans clothing, hearing the "oohs" and "aahs" of the crowd as the team went into coverage drills pitting the DBs against the WRs. Ironically, I saw Robert Meachem running — albeit just as briefly as the Saints brass saw him run as well. I thought to myself what just was the payoff from me sitting out in the heat with thousands of diehards.
Well, the payoff was the joy on my 13- and 11-year old nephews' faces as they walked away with their T-shirts covered with autographs from some of their favorite players.
And that was well worth the headache.
Friday, April 27, 2007
The Return of the WMD
Yo, people
Sorry it's been a goof few months since I last hit the blog up, but I'm back....
Just a recent update, I placed third in the best sports column category by the Louisiana Press Assocation. Does that make me an award-winning columnist as well as an award-winning writer?
Stay tuned y'all. I'm bout to get back into it.
Sorry it's been a goof few months since I last hit the blog up, but I'm back....
Just a recent update, I placed third in the best sports column category by the Louisiana Press Assocation. Does that make me an award-winning columnist as well as an award-winning writer?
Stay tuned y'all. I'm bout to get back into it.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Chee Wee hairstyles, dreadlocks and me
St. Tammany Parish Sheriff Jack Strain landed in a little political hot water about a month ago regarding his comments discussing a horrendous incident of “spillover crime” in his sprawling, suburban jurisdiction.
He got in trouble by saying this during a television interview in late June:
"If you’re going to walk the streets of St. Tammany Parish with dreadlocks and chee wee hairstyles then you can expect to be getting a visit from a sheriffs deputy.”
Now the context of what he said is being debated, but one thing could be taken from this statement. Certain athletes should do their best to avoid St. Tammany Parish at all costs, especially if they either have dreadlocks, “chee wee” hairstyles or just happen to be Belle Chasse product – and frequent violator – Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals.
Athletes running afoul of Johnny Law are just as common as snowball stands in south Louisiana in the summer. That is not even counting Henry and his teammates, nor the Portland Trail Blazers either. Sometimes these overly talented men and women need some protection from themselves, and the brain “mis”trust at Slant-N-Go Enterprises, LLC, will do its part to perform an extremely valuable public service.
The SNG service is all too simple, but yet all too important to the sporting world. That service is to keep athletes with dreadlocks and “chee wee” hairstyles out of St. Tammany Parish and out of possible legal issues.
However, questions still baffle the board of directors at SNG: What in the world is a chee wee hairstyle? Do you find them in a Cracker Jack box? Can you use “the cream,” “the clear” or “flaxseed oil” to attain such a hairstyle? Will Walt “Clyde” Frazier and Keith Hernandez be featured in commercials advertising coloring products for men with chee wee hairstyles?
The list of potential clients is a diverse array of athletes from surf, turf, snow and other surfaces of play. However, some have taken Strain’s warning very seriously and cost SNG a very important potential client. That person would be 2-time NBA MVP Steve Nash. He showed up to a recent charity game in his native British Columbia, Canada, with one thing missing—his notoriously unruly bedhead. Maybe he got the hint from Strain and thought that he should tread lightly.
Seimone Augustus should be on the lookout and is a potential client. Although she was a nationally-known commodity since her freshman year in high school, there are still parts of the state where she is a highly unknown figure. Heaven knows St. Tammany does not need the publicity of a sherrifs deputy getting in the personal space of the WNBA’s second-leading scorer, Baton Rouge playground legend and the Wayne Gretzky of LSU women’s basketball.
Former Gonzaga gunslinger, and new Charlotte Bobcat, Adam Morrison should also tread lightly if he ever finds himself traveling throughout St. Tammany. If it were not for Morrison’s sick hoops game, his “chee wee-ish” hairstyle and that dirty upper lip of his would definitely get him confused with either a mechanic, a pool cleaner, a really bad stunt double for Ron Jeremy or someone Strain’s deputies would surely focus their attention on.
Not even Skyler Green’s LSU national championship ring and old game-worn jerseys are enough to get St. Tammany’s finest off his dreadlocked case. Manny Ramirez can show off his curse-breaking world Series ring or even show clips of him tossing a ball to the outfield wall, taking a break in the Green Monster or cut off Johnny Damon and throw the ball into the infield. It won’t help Manny, but Manny’s Manny, so Strain could have other reasons to send his deputies in to check up on him.
Throw in New Orleans Saints cornerback Mike McKenzie and Green Bay cornerback Al Harris. You couldn’t tell those guys apart when they were together in Packerland, especially with their anti-Stain dreadlocks would cover up their names on the back of their jerseys. Now that McKenzie’s a member of the “gluttons for punishment,” he should avoid having to go travel to teammate Jammal Brown’s house or P.J. brown’s house for that matter.
How about Olympic gold medal winner Shaun White? Now if that shock of red hair the snowboarder sports isn’t “chee wee,” then the SNG directors do not know what is. He could possibly go from getting a hug from Carmen Electra at the ESPYs (lucky guy) to seeing deputies staring him down (not so lucky guy). Talk about a sad twist of fate. Shaun would have to just avoid Louisiana completely altogether.
Almost forgot Pedro Martinez and his new-school jheri curl/shag hybrid. It beckons back to a time when judgment was bad (circa 1975-88), but Petey’s ode to nostalgia and TCB curl activator is not good enough to stay scot-free (or even Scotchguard free) in St. Tammany Parish.
SNG will continue to help the athletes help themselves not the fall victims of themselves. SNG also believes in showing its clients that the company is not afraid to do what is asked of the people it represents. Therefore, Fred Batiste will cut his hair before he becomes the next to get a visit from a St. Tammany sheriffs deputy.
He got in trouble by saying this during a television interview in late June:
"If you’re going to walk the streets of St. Tammany Parish with dreadlocks and chee wee hairstyles then you can expect to be getting a visit from a sheriffs deputy.”
Now the context of what he said is being debated, but one thing could be taken from this statement. Certain athletes should do their best to avoid St. Tammany Parish at all costs, especially if they either have dreadlocks, “chee wee” hairstyles or just happen to be Belle Chasse product – and frequent violator – Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals.
Athletes running afoul of Johnny Law are just as common as snowball stands in south Louisiana in the summer. That is not even counting Henry and his teammates, nor the Portland Trail Blazers either. Sometimes these overly talented men and women need some protection from themselves, and the brain “mis”trust at Slant-N-Go Enterprises, LLC, will do its part to perform an extremely valuable public service.
The SNG service is all too simple, but yet all too important to the sporting world. That service is to keep athletes with dreadlocks and “chee wee” hairstyles out of St. Tammany Parish and out of possible legal issues.
However, questions still baffle the board of directors at SNG: What in the world is a chee wee hairstyle? Do you find them in a Cracker Jack box? Can you use “the cream,” “the clear” or “flaxseed oil” to attain such a hairstyle? Will Walt “Clyde” Frazier and Keith Hernandez be featured in commercials advertising coloring products for men with chee wee hairstyles?
The list of potential clients is a diverse array of athletes from surf, turf, snow and other surfaces of play. However, some have taken Strain’s warning very seriously and cost SNG a very important potential client. That person would be 2-time NBA MVP Steve Nash. He showed up to a recent charity game in his native British Columbia, Canada, with one thing missing—his notoriously unruly bedhead. Maybe he got the hint from Strain and thought that he should tread lightly.
Seimone Augustus should be on the lookout and is a potential client. Although she was a nationally-known commodity since her freshman year in high school, there are still parts of the state where she is a highly unknown figure. Heaven knows St. Tammany does not need the publicity of a sherrifs deputy getting in the personal space of the WNBA’s second-leading scorer, Baton Rouge playground legend and the Wayne Gretzky of LSU women’s basketball.
Former Gonzaga gunslinger, and new Charlotte Bobcat, Adam Morrison should also tread lightly if he ever finds himself traveling throughout St. Tammany. If it were not for Morrison’s sick hoops game, his “chee wee-ish” hairstyle and that dirty upper lip of his would definitely get him confused with either a mechanic, a pool cleaner, a really bad stunt double for Ron Jeremy or someone Strain’s deputies would surely focus their attention on.
Not even Skyler Green’s LSU national championship ring and old game-worn jerseys are enough to get St. Tammany’s finest off his dreadlocked case. Manny Ramirez can show off his curse-breaking world Series ring or even show clips of him tossing a ball to the outfield wall, taking a break in the Green Monster or cut off Johnny Damon and throw the ball into the infield. It won’t help Manny, but Manny’s Manny, so Strain could have other reasons to send his deputies in to check up on him.
Throw in New Orleans Saints cornerback Mike McKenzie and Green Bay cornerback Al Harris. You couldn’t tell those guys apart when they were together in Packerland, especially with their anti-Stain dreadlocks would cover up their names on the back of their jerseys. Now that McKenzie’s a member of the “gluttons for punishment,” he should avoid having to go travel to teammate Jammal Brown’s house or P.J. brown’s house for that matter.
How about Olympic gold medal winner Shaun White? Now if that shock of red hair the snowboarder sports isn’t “chee wee,” then the SNG directors do not know what is. He could possibly go from getting a hug from Carmen Electra at the ESPYs (lucky guy) to seeing deputies staring him down (not so lucky guy). Talk about a sad twist of fate. Shaun would have to just avoid Louisiana completely altogether.
Almost forgot Pedro Martinez and his new-school jheri curl/shag hybrid. It beckons back to a time when judgment was bad (circa 1975-88), but Petey’s ode to nostalgia and TCB curl activator is not good enough to stay scot-free (or even Scotchguard free) in St. Tammany Parish.
SNG will continue to help the athletes help themselves not the fall victims of themselves. SNG also believes in showing its clients that the company is not afraid to do what is asked of the people it represents. Therefore, Fred Batiste will cut his hair before he becomes the next to get a visit from a St. Tammany sheriffs deputy.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
SLANT-N-GO: Vacation Starvation Makes Mind Wander
We talk to ourselves every day. Mumble brief reminders to do something. Calculate how much to tip that server at a restaurant. Whisper prayers that a certain person does not give make life harder at work/school/cell block D today, tomorrow or the next day.
We also have internal conversations every day. Thinking about how much money to put aside for gas that day. Remem-bering if we gave the pet fresh food and water. Pondering if the relationship between Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles is just a farce.
I, too, talk/think to myself because — like “the educated brother from the bank” from “New Jack City” — there is no one to talk to. People still ask me why I do what I do. I often drift into thought when I drive, especially when my thoughts are sports-related.
Like, this one time at band camp ... wait a minute! Wrong story!
Some of these internal interactions commence with just a few seconds of reading the sports section, while others happen with a listen of some sports talk radio or some of that good’ ol patented scattered hot thinking I’m kind of known for.
Myself, also known as “self” and not be confused with Kansas basketball coach Bill Self, and I have some discussions that really either put me at the brink of genius or put me one step closer to going crazy — like Mariah Carey did a couple of years back. Self is the perfect sounding board for ideas because self doesn’t talk back. Whatever the result, it’s kind of fun.
For instance, I was reading a story where college basketball coaches unsuccessfully petitioned the NCAA to expand the men’s basketball tournament from 65 teams to 128.
“Those coaches must be out of their minds,” I said to myself. “They’ll try anything to save their butts and get some bonus money out of the universities.”
My mind reeled at the prospects of seeing the 10th-place finisher of the SEC opening up against Southeastern, or Southern facing the last-place team out of the Big 11 ... I mean Big 10. I told myself I was surprised that the television gods did not try to woo the NCAA with additional money for those additional games.
I also thought to myself, a 128-team NCAA tournament could throw the United States into economic ruin. People spend weeks perfecting their calling-in-sick voices so they can get some more days off to fill out brackets, make bets and watch the NCAA tournament. Can you imagine how much productivity could go down during an extended NCAA tournament, especially during that key first-round game between Elon and Cal State-Northridge?
And also, what about the cheerleaders? That’s adding two more weeks of potentially botched basket tosses with disastrous effects and somewhat-soiled spanky pants.
Speaking of cheerleaders, I was watching WWE’s Raw one Monday night and they had ... male cheerleaders. There is this group of five guys calling themselves the “Spirit Squad,” and they play off the athleticism cheerleaders have and the stereotypical hyper personalities as well. Then the dudes have the nerve to bring trampolines to jump into the ring and throw opponents in the air.
I said to myself, “Self, this is a darned shame. I knew some cheerleaders and they never thought about bringing a steel chair into a game to hit someone.”
Well, I think some competitive cheerleaders would bring a chair, but probably one of their parents would beat them to it in a bid to get their little darling to the top of the pyramid. Don’t get mad — parents plotting against cheerleaders in the name of own kid has happened before.
I told myself that I would not be surprised if Vince McMahon books a “cheerleader death match” inside of a steel cage. If so, there better be a large check made out to my name that clears when I deposit it in the bank.
My mind shifted as news of Ben Wallace defecting to Chicago as a free agent. Ben Wallace went from a throw-in player in the Grant Hill trade to Orlando years ago to one of the most recognizable athletes around. And what does he do? He leaves the team that allowed him to get to his status for more money.
Do I blame him for leaving for more money? No. Did the be-loved Bulls of Daily Star sports editor John Lenz pay a tad too much for a guy that’s an offensive liability in the clutch? Yes.
I thought to myself that Ben Wallace was greedier than the average athlete for one thing — jumping to his previous employer’s archrival. Roger Clemens used Toronto as a go-between from playing for the Red Sox to the Yankees. Terrell Eldorado Owens’ going over to Dallas was just a publicity stunt concocted by Jerry “Botox” Jones.
I thought about it. I never saw Calvin from the McDonald’s commercials suddenly started managing a Burger King. I never saw Joe Isuzu driving up in a Cadillac. I never saw the Super Mario Brothers just bolt Nintendo and started playing on Playstation 2s and X-Boxes.
OK, I’m thinking too much. I’m giving myself a headache!
We also have internal conversations every day. Thinking about how much money to put aside for gas that day. Remem-bering if we gave the pet fresh food and water. Pondering if the relationship between Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles is just a farce.
I, too, talk/think to myself because — like “the educated brother from the bank” from “New Jack City” — there is no one to talk to. People still ask me why I do what I do. I often drift into thought when I drive, especially when my thoughts are sports-related.
Like, this one time at band camp ... wait a minute! Wrong story!
Some of these internal interactions commence with just a few seconds of reading the sports section, while others happen with a listen of some sports talk radio or some of that good’ ol patented scattered hot thinking I’m kind of known for.
Myself, also known as “self” and not be confused with Kansas basketball coach Bill Self, and I have some discussions that really either put me at the brink of genius or put me one step closer to going crazy — like Mariah Carey did a couple of years back. Self is the perfect sounding board for ideas because self doesn’t talk back. Whatever the result, it’s kind of fun.
For instance, I was reading a story where college basketball coaches unsuccessfully petitioned the NCAA to expand the men’s basketball tournament from 65 teams to 128.
“Those coaches must be out of their minds,” I said to myself. “They’ll try anything to save their butts and get some bonus money out of the universities.”
My mind reeled at the prospects of seeing the 10th-place finisher of the SEC opening up against Southeastern, or Southern facing the last-place team out of the Big 11 ... I mean Big 10. I told myself I was surprised that the television gods did not try to woo the NCAA with additional money for those additional games.
I also thought to myself, a 128-team NCAA tournament could throw the United States into economic ruin. People spend weeks perfecting their calling-in-sick voices so they can get some more days off to fill out brackets, make bets and watch the NCAA tournament. Can you imagine how much productivity could go down during an extended NCAA tournament, especially during that key first-round game between Elon and Cal State-Northridge?
And also, what about the cheerleaders? That’s adding two more weeks of potentially botched basket tosses with disastrous effects and somewhat-soiled spanky pants.
Speaking of cheerleaders, I was watching WWE’s Raw one Monday night and they had ... male cheerleaders. There is this group of five guys calling themselves the “Spirit Squad,” and they play off the athleticism cheerleaders have and the stereotypical hyper personalities as well. Then the dudes have the nerve to bring trampolines to jump into the ring and throw opponents in the air.
I said to myself, “Self, this is a darned shame. I knew some cheerleaders and they never thought about bringing a steel chair into a game to hit someone.”
Well, I think some competitive cheerleaders would bring a chair, but probably one of their parents would beat them to it in a bid to get their little darling to the top of the pyramid. Don’t get mad — parents plotting against cheerleaders in the name of own kid has happened before.
I told myself that I would not be surprised if Vince McMahon books a “cheerleader death match” inside of a steel cage. If so, there better be a large check made out to my name that clears when I deposit it in the bank.
My mind shifted as news of Ben Wallace defecting to Chicago as a free agent. Ben Wallace went from a throw-in player in the Grant Hill trade to Orlando years ago to one of the most recognizable athletes around. And what does he do? He leaves the team that allowed him to get to his status for more money.
Do I blame him for leaving for more money? No. Did the be-loved Bulls of Daily Star sports editor John Lenz pay a tad too much for a guy that’s an offensive liability in the clutch? Yes.
I thought to myself that Ben Wallace was greedier than the average athlete for one thing — jumping to his previous employer’s archrival. Roger Clemens used Toronto as a go-between from playing for the Red Sox to the Yankees. Terrell Eldorado Owens’ going over to Dallas was just a publicity stunt concocted by Jerry “Botox” Jones.
I thought about it. I never saw Calvin from the McDonald’s commercials suddenly started managing a Burger King. I never saw Joe Isuzu driving up in a Cadillac. I never saw the Super Mario Brothers just bolt Nintendo and started playing on Playstation 2s and X-Boxes.
OK, I’m thinking too much. I’m giving myself a headache!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Slant-N-Go: 2-for-1 deal
Psst...hey you, the reader.
Do you ever find yourself wanting more out of what you are reading, but just cannot figure how to get get your selected readings chock full of entertaining tidbits. Well, the sick minds at Slant & Go Enterprises have an offer for you.
The brain mistrust that brought you "Slant & Go at the Movies" is going to temporarily break down that fourth wall thing that exists in theater--by presenting this one-time offer. Yes folks, S&G is presenting a 2-for-1 special.
Yes, two opinions for the space of one. It's two ideas replacing one, becoming one cohesive unit like peanut butter and jelly, Bert and Ernie, ivy and Wrigley Field, R. Kelly and videotapes and Mike Tyson and insanity.
First off, let's discuss Southeastern's upcoming football season. More importantly, let's discuss the Lions' nonconference slate for the upcoming season.
Whereas most Division I-AA schools "play up" once per season, the Lions tripled that by landing three Division I-A schools on the schedule this season. The Lions open the season in Las Cruces, M. Mex., when they take on former coach Hal Mumme and New Mexico State Aug. 21. The next game is a trip up Interstate 59 to Hattiesburg and Southern Miss Sept. 9. The whopper is a Sept. 23 trip to Lubbock, Texas to take on Texas Tech--a team that finished 2005 in the Top 20 in the Associated Press and USA Today/ESPN polls.
The Lions fit in home games against Jacksonville (Sept. 16) and Gardner Webb (Sept. 30) before opening Southland Conference play in October.
Lions coach Dennis Roland said it is not easy for a I-AA program like Southeastern to schedule games against their I-A counterparts. These games give his team a chance to gain a measure of exposure against the "higher level" of NCAA college football.
For Division I-AA programs, games against I-A programs also serve as major fundraisers that some in the sports world call "Rent-A-Wins." However, the prospects of pulling of a Maine vs. Mississippi State upset are few and far between. Coaches sometimes hope to get through the game with a strong showing and no players receiving major injuries, all while making sure the check clears.
New Mexico State went winless last season, and the Lions should win that game. However, Southern Miss and Texas Tech--bowl teams last season--will be tougher tasks. Sure, the Lions will collect a nice chunk of change for their "services," but it's all a part of the business known as Division I football.
OK, it's now time to get to the second part of this exclusive offer. Let's now talk about mercy in football, which is something like Bill Gates running into you in front of a grocery store and asking you for change for a $20.
The Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference, the Nutmeg State's equivalent to the LHSAA, adopted a "score management" policy that will suspend coaches whose teams win by more than 50 points.
The CIAC rule, also called the "Jack Cochran rule," was put in place after the New London High won four games by 50 or more points last season--including winning a game by the paltry tally of 90-0 over Griswold. In case you didn't figure it out, Jack Cochran is New London's coach.
According to reports, the head coach of the offending team will get disqualified from coaching the next game.
Yes, Connecticut's the same state where a professor of one of the state colleges was quoted in Sports Illustrated in 2001 saying dodgeball "encourages the best to pick on the weak." However, that's not the point.
Under this policy, Evangel's Dennis Dunn would have had to skip the Eagles second-round playoff game after plastering Hamilton Christian 70-0 in the first round of the playoffs.
Football is the one sport that capitalizes on incorporating war and military ideals the most. Think about it, you have blitzing and sacking the quarterback. Throwing the long bomb or the quick strike to gain the upper hand. Having good ground and air attacks to make the opponent submit to your will and breaking the opponent's will. One team imposing its will on its weaker opponent.
If Team A is beating Team B by more than three touchdowns, simply just start a running clock, get the cheerleaders and band members on the field and just keep playing. At least that used to be the mentality.
The CIAC is establishing a dangerous precedent here. What's next, allowing the team getting drubbed 46-0 to score 13-point touchdowns in order to make the score closer? High school basketball teams can't get a 30-point lead or greater in a game?
Besides, there are only two ways a team prevents being on the receiving end of a blowout-- get better or just simply drop football, period.
Do you ever find yourself wanting more out of what you are reading, but just cannot figure how to get get your selected readings chock full of entertaining tidbits. Well, the sick minds at Slant & Go Enterprises have an offer for you.
The brain mistrust that brought you "Slant & Go at the Movies" is going to temporarily break down that fourth wall thing that exists in theater--by presenting this one-time offer. Yes folks, S&G is presenting a 2-for-1 special.
Yes, two opinions for the space of one. It's two ideas replacing one, becoming one cohesive unit like peanut butter and jelly, Bert and Ernie, ivy and Wrigley Field, R. Kelly and videotapes and Mike Tyson and insanity.
First off, let's discuss Southeastern's upcoming football season. More importantly, let's discuss the Lions' nonconference slate for the upcoming season.
Whereas most Division I-AA schools "play up" once per season, the Lions tripled that by landing three Division I-A schools on the schedule this season. The Lions open the season in Las Cruces, M. Mex., when they take on former coach Hal Mumme and New Mexico State Aug. 21. The next game is a trip up Interstate 59 to Hattiesburg and Southern Miss Sept. 9. The whopper is a Sept. 23 trip to Lubbock, Texas to take on Texas Tech--a team that finished 2005 in the Top 20 in the Associated Press and USA Today/ESPN polls.
The Lions fit in home games against Jacksonville (Sept. 16) and Gardner Webb (Sept. 30) before opening Southland Conference play in October.
Lions coach Dennis Roland said it is not easy for a I-AA program like Southeastern to schedule games against their I-A counterparts. These games give his team a chance to gain a measure of exposure against the "higher level" of NCAA college football.
For Division I-AA programs, games against I-A programs also serve as major fundraisers that some in the sports world call "Rent-A-Wins." However, the prospects of pulling of a Maine vs. Mississippi State upset are few and far between. Coaches sometimes hope to get through the game with a strong showing and no players receiving major injuries, all while making sure the check clears.
New Mexico State went winless last season, and the Lions should win that game. However, Southern Miss and Texas Tech--bowl teams last season--will be tougher tasks. Sure, the Lions will collect a nice chunk of change for their "services," but it's all a part of the business known as Division I football.
OK, it's now time to get to the second part of this exclusive offer. Let's now talk about mercy in football, which is something like Bill Gates running into you in front of a grocery store and asking you for change for a $20.
The Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference, the Nutmeg State's equivalent to the LHSAA, adopted a "score management" policy that will suspend coaches whose teams win by more than 50 points.
The CIAC rule, also called the "Jack Cochran rule," was put in place after the New London High won four games by 50 or more points last season--including winning a game by the paltry tally of 90-0 over Griswold. In case you didn't figure it out, Jack Cochran is New London's coach.
According to reports, the head coach of the offending team will get disqualified from coaching the next game.
Yes, Connecticut's the same state where a professor of one of the state colleges was quoted in Sports Illustrated in 2001 saying dodgeball "encourages the best to pick on the weak." However, that's not the point.
Under this policy, Evangel's Dennis Dunn would have had to skip the Eagles second-round playoff game after plastering Hamilton Christian 70-0 in the first round of the playoffs.
Football is the one sport that capitalizes on incorporating war and military ideals the most. Think about it, you have blitzing and sacking the quarterback. Throwing the long bomb or the quick strike to gain the upper hand. Having good ground and air attacks to make the opponent submit to your will and breaking the opponent's will. One team imposing its will on its weaker opponent.
If Team A is beating Team B by more than three touchdowns, simply just start a running clock, get the cheerleaders and band members on the field and just keep playing. At least that used to be the mentality.
The CIAC is establishing a dangerous precedent here. What's next, allowing the team getting drubbed 46-0 to score 13-point touchdowns in order to make the score closer? High school basketball teams can't get a 30-point lead or greater in a game?
Besides, there are only two ways a team prevents being on the receiving end of a blowout-- get better or just simply drop football, period.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
SLANT-N-GO Len Bias
Michael Wilbon, the Washington Post columnist and bespectacled guy on ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption," wrote the following one year after Maryland star Len Bias overdosed on cocaine and died two days after the Boston Celtics took him second overall in the 1986 NBA draft.
There's a basketball court in Rockville (Md.) on which some the day after Bias died painted on the backboards and court: "Len Bias Lives Forever." The kids play for hours a day, hitting the yellow paint.
A year later, the words remain. One wonders if they are read.
Bias died June 20, 1986 at 22-years-old, an All-American who some basketball experts considered to be better than a certain North Carolina All-American and omnipresent pitchman. Bias' collapse in his dorm suite became something that far transcended just a simple bad decision that turned fatal, it became a flash point in American sports and American society.
For me, Bias' death became the moment when my innocence sportswise was taken away. I was just turning 2-years-old when the United States boycotted the Moscow Olympics and the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles are just a blur in my memory. I was a few months shy of my ninth birthday, and this changed everything—not some green T-shirt with "Just Say No" emblazoned on the front.
Bias' picture on the cover of Sports Illustrated following his death turned him into more than a tragic figure, he became a symbol as the cocaine/crack epidemic gained a larger foothold in the American conscience and had an even larger impact in the black (now known as African-American) community.
Bias became a cautionary tale about the perils of drug abuse, sort of like a scary story police officers would tell kids to steer them away from talking to strangers. In terms of analogies, Bias was to the "War on Drugs" as Emmitt Till was to the Civil Rights Movement—their respective deaths brought those issues to the forefront in mainstream America.
Bias' death served as a case study in how far-reaching the impact of doing drugs is. Remember, the Celtics still had Bird, Parrish and McHale in the front court in their prime. That former North Carolina All-American was on his way to becoming the measuring stick all young players are held up to. Who knows the heights the NBA could have reached if Bias would have stayed alive to make in impact in the pro game?
Fast forward 20 years, and here sports fans sit in the wake of another flash point. USC starting point guard Ryan Francis was senselessly killed in Baton Rouge during Mother's Day weekend. Francis was not the guy the shooter was aiming for, but it was the former Glen Oaks star that died from the incident.
I watched Francis and Glen Oaks and caught some late night Pac-10 games when he took over the point for the Trojans—as a true freshman. Like Bias, it looked like Francis had a bright future. Unlike Bias, Francis became just another case of "wrong place, wrong time." Another bright light extinguished by stupidity, another son taken from his mother, another friend gone and one less teammate in the locker room.
The two do share a bond because they have became symbols, they put a face on the particular manners of death. Francis became a symbol of the seemingly increasing devaluing of life by many of today's youth and how this generation of young people seemingly seek to take life quickly and without thinking of the consequences of their actions.
Taking Wilbon's closing lines from that 1986 column and adapting it to Francis death:
There are basketball courts in North Baton Rouge on which someone the day after Francis was killed painted on the walls and court: "Ryan Francis Lives Forever." The kids play for hours a day, hitting spray-painted messages wishing Francis to rest in peace."
Like Bias, those words would remain as a reminder of those events that take people away from the world way before their time. More than just one nowadays wonder if the kids read the message and take it heart.
There's a basketball court in Rockville (Md.) on which some the day after Bias died painted on the backboards and court: "Len Bias Lives Forever." The kids play for hours a day, hitting the yellow paint.
A year later, the words remain. One wonders if they are read.
Bias died June 20, 1986 at 22-years-old, an All-American who some basketball experts considered to be better than a certain North Carolina All-American and omnipresent pitchman. Bias' collapse in his dorm suite became something that far transcended just a simple bad decision that turned fatal, it became a flash point in American sports and American society.
For me, Bias' death became the moment when my innocence sportswise was taken away. I was just turning 2-years-old when the United States boycotted the Moscow Olympics and the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles are just a blur in my memory. I was a few months shy of my ninth birthday, and this changed everything—not some green T-shirt with "Just Say No" emblazoned on the front.
Bias' picture on the cover of Sports Illustrated following his death turned him into more than a tragic figure, he became a symbol as the cocaine/crack epidemic gained a larger foothold in the American conscience and had an even larger impact in the black (now known as African-American) community.
Bias became a cautionary tale about the perils of drug abuse, sort of like a scary story police officers would tell kids to steer them away from talking to strangers. In terms of analogies, Bias was to the "War on Drugs" as Emmitt Till was to the Civil Rights Movement—their respective deaths brought those issues to the forefront in mainstream America.
Bias' death served as a case study in how far-reaching the impact of doing drugs is. Remember, the Celtics still had Bird, Parrish and McHale in the front court in their prime. That former North Carolina All-American was on his way to becoming the measuring stick all young players are held up to. Who knows the heights the NBA could have reached if Bias would have stayed alive to make in impact in the pro game?
Fast forward 20 years, and here sports fans sit in the wake of another flash point. USC starting point guard Ryan Francis was senselessly killed in Baton Rouge during Mother's Day weekend. Francis was not the guy the shooter was aiming for, but it was the former Glen Oaks star that died from the incident.
I watched Francis and Glen Oaks and caught some late night Pac-10 games when he took over the point for the Trojans—as a true freshman. Like Bias, it looked like Francis had a bright future. Unlike Bias, Francis became just another case of "wrong place, wrong time." Another bright light extinguished by stupidity, another son taken from his mother, another friend gone and one less teammate in the locker room.
The two do share a bond because they have became symbols, they put a face on the particular manners of death. Francis became a symbol of the seemingly increasing devaluing of life by many of today's youth and how this generation of young people seemingly seek to take life quickly and without thinking of the consequences of their actions.
Taking Wilbon's closing lines from that 1986 column and adapting it to Francis death:
There are basketball courts in North Baton Rouge on which someone the day after Francis was killed painted on the walls and court: "Ryan Francis Lives Forever." The kids play for hours a day, hitting spray-painted messages wishing Francis to rest in peace."
Like Bias, those words would remain as a reminder of those events that take people away from the world way before their time. More than just one nowadays wonder if the kids read the message and take it heart.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Slant & Go at the movies, Part Deux
Just when you thought it was safe to get back into the water, the brain trust at Slant & Go Studios return to tantalize the viewing public.
The attention garnered by some of S&G’s proposed projects a week ago have prompted officials at the entertainment conglomerate to think of something grand, something huge, something ... sequenced.
S&G is not afraid to look at trends as big-budget movie season draws near. The folks at the studios also know there is money to be made in sequels as well as remakes. Sequels are as American as apple pie, and the S&G brain trust is not afraid to make an impact on the pattented “next chapter” movies.
Think about it, these S&G guys aren’t playing. They think they can actually be larger than that guy Stephen Segal.
“Rambo: First Blood” will just be reduced to a whimsical date movie compared to what Slant & Go is cooking up. S&G will turn “The Godfather 2” into “Three Men and a Young Lady” just off what they are planning. Even all the “Harry Potter” sequels are not a match for the magic S&G can conjure and pack more force than the entire “Star Wars” saga — so take your wookies and skywalk all around Tatooine for all the S&G powers-that-be care.
S&G will keep with its current formula of casting professional athletes instead of some actor type. Athletes are literally beating down the doors and pushing down metermaids just to get their glossy 8x10’s into our offices and to get a seat on the very plush, but very long, casting couch.
This just in: John Williams (the guy that did the score in the “Star Wars” movies), the RZA (the guy from Wu-Tang Clan that did the score in the “Kill Bill” movies), Atlanta rapper Clifford “T.I.” Harris and Willie Nelson all have contacted S&G expressing interest in developing musical accompiament to these upcoming projects.
•Raja Bell and Kobe Bean Bryant go mano y mano in “Face/Off 2”: The “Big Bean” tried to elbow Bell’s face off during the Lakers-Suns first round playoff series. Bell did his best Nikita Koloff impression in Game 5 and tried to Russian Sickle Bean’s head off in retaliation to Bryant’s elbowing.
This beef between the scrappy Bell and the hardwood prince Bryant will not be settled until one has eliminated the other. Think of the possibilities: The cool John Woo slo-mo shots with the birds flapping in the distance would add some flair to the scene, but unfortunately would make the basketball court a little more slippery.
It is a classic battle between the undrafted Bell, who caught on with the 76ers the year Iverson and Larry Brown were on the same page, and second-generation player Bryant, who feels the NBA is his fiefdom for him to rule with impunity. Bell could utilize the scrappiness and toughness that has kept him in the league while Bryant can use his elbows and his mutant ability to produce large diamonds whenever the situation calls for it.
•Ricky Williams and Onterrio Smith co-star in “Up in Smoke, Again”: Ricky’s the shy, softspoken type that likes holistic medicine. Onterrio’s the high-strung guy that brought “The Whizzinator” into public conscience.
Together these “bud brothers” will walk around in a daze as they’re basically kicked off their jobs for the entire 2006 NFL season. Laugh histerically at their antics as they try to make the Portland Trail Blazers active roster. There are rumors that Damon “that’s not my pot on my coffee table, Mr. Officer” Stoudamire will have a significant role in this film.
Watch Williams and Smith set world record times in the 40-yard dash as they run into a (insert chain grocery store name here) and make a break for the junk food aisle or to the pharmacy section to pick up on some Visine or Clear Eyes.
This good-natured, full-bellied romp is a cross between “Dumb and Dumberer” and “Easy Rider,” the latter not to be confused with E-Z Wider.
•Serena Williams in “Less than Zero 2”: This sequel will not involve any references to cocaine, James Spader, Andrew McCarthy and Robert Downey Jr. However, it is the story about a girl from a hardscrabble section of Los Angeles who rises to the pinnacle of her profession, only to blow it away to her addiction to a very powerful drug — fame.
The film would follow Serena as she takes her braids out and begins really kicking butt on the tennis court. However, someone comes along and tells her that she is a lot more than just a tennis player. Serena seemingly overnight becomes a sex symbol and fashion plate, while her game dwindles in that same span.
Black was certainly the best color choice she had for her attire at the Kentucky Derby, because fame killed Serena Williams’ chance to become arguably the greatest women’s tennis player of her generation. Speaking of fame, where’s David Bowie or Debbie Allen when you need them?
•Paul Tagliabue stars in “The Godfather 4”: Hey may not be either Don Vito or Michael Corleone, but the retiring NFL commissioner could make offers people just could not refuse.
Just ask the good folks in Phoenix, Jacksonville, Detroit, Houston and other NFL cities that passed tax referendums to build multimillion-dollar stadiums for teams with billionaire owners. Tags punked ESPN into taking “Playmakers” off the air a couple of years ago, the same cable power the NFL virtually gave power to over a decade ago when the league awarded the once-fledgling channel some games.
Tags single-handedly kept the Saints in New Orleans while constantly flirting with Los Angeles. Work stoppages did not happen on Tags’ watch, partly because of the relationship he maintained with his consigliere — NFL Players Association head Gene Upshaw.
Tags must now watch as a new don gets to be at the helm of America’s biggest sports enterprise. Soon, even the Governator will have to kiss another man’s ring if he wants to see a pro football team in Los Angeles.
•Reggie Bush starts in “The Golden Child 2”: No Eddie Murphy here singing “I Want the Knife.” Instead, it's Bush’s stepdad telling some equally unscrupulous hack, “I want the house, please!” Wait a minute, that is more of a prequel than a sequel.
This project is still in the very early stages of development, with Bush being pegged as the biggest thing to hit New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina/Styrofoam Cups/Reebok Classics and jeans designed by Marithe and Francois Girbaud.
Just like Thomas after Easter Sunday, Saints fans want to see Bush for themselves, and they know that anything that can go wrong will go wrong whenever the New Orleans Saints are involved.
The attention garnered by some of S&G’s proposed projects a week ago have prompted officials at the entertainment conglomerate to think of something grand, something huge, something ... sequenced.
S&G is not afraid to look at trends as big-budget movie season draws near. The folks at the studios also know there is money to be made in sequels as well as remakes. Sequels are as American as apple pie, and the S&G brain trust is not afraid to make an impact on the pattented “next chapter” movies.
Think about it, these S&G guys aren’t playing. They think they can actually be larger than that guy Stephen Segal.
“Rambo: First Blood” will just be reduced to a whimsical date movie compared to what Slant & Go is cooking up. S&G will turn “The Godfather 2” into “Three Men and a Young Lady” just off what they are planning. Even all the “Harry Potter” sequels are not a match for the magic S&G can conjure and pack more force than the entire “Star Wars” saga — so take your wookies and skywalk all around Tatooine for all the S&G powers-that-be care.
S&G will keep with its current formula of casting professional athletes instead of some actor type. Athletes are literally beating down the doors and pushing down metermaids just to get their glossy 8x10’s into our offices and to get a seat on the very plush, but very long, casting couch.
This just in: John Williams (the guy that did the score in the “Star Wars” movies), the RZA (the guy from Wu-Tang Clan that did the score in the “Kill Bill” movies), Atlanta rapper Clifford “T.I.” Harris and Willie Nelson all have contacted S&G expressing interest in developing musical accompiament to these upcoming projects.
•Raja Bell and Kobe Bean Bryant go mano y mano in “Face/Off 2”: The “Big Bean” tried to elbow Bell’s face off during the Lakers-Suns first round playoff series. Bell did his best Nikita Koloff impression in Game 5 and tried to Russian Sickle Bean’s head off in retaliation to Bryant’s elbowing.
This beef between the scrappy Bell and the hardwood prince Bryant will not be settled until one has eliminated the other. Think of the possibilities: The cool John Woo slo-mo shots with the birds flapping in the distance would add some flair to the scene, but unfortunately would make the basketball court a little more slippery.
It is a classic battle between the undrafted Bell, who caught on with the 76ers the year Iverson and Larry Brown were on the same page, and second-generation player Bryant, who feels the NBA is his fiefdom for him to rule with impunity. Bell could utilize the scrappiness and toughness that has kept him in the league while Bryant can use his elbows and his mutant ability to produce large diamonds whenever the situation calls for it.
•Ricky Williams and Onterrio Smith co-star in “Up in Smoke, Again”: Ricky’s the shy, softspoken type that likes holistic medicine. Onterrio’s the high-strung guy that brought “The Whizzinator” into public conscience.
Together these “bud brothers” will walk around in a daze as they’re basically kicked off their jobs for the entire 2006 NFL season. Laugh histerically at their antics as they try to make the Portland Trail Blazers active roster. There are rumors that Damon “that’s not my pot on my coffee table, Mr. Officer” Stoudamire will have a significant role in this film.
Watch Williams and Smith set world record times in the 40-yard dash as they run into a (insert chain grocery store name here) and make a break for the junk food aisle or to the pharmacy section to pick up on some Visine or Clear Eyes.
This good-natured, full-bellied romp is a cross between “Dumb and Dumberer” and “Easy Rider,” the latter not to be confused with E-Z Wider.
•Serena Williams in “Less than Zero 2”: This sequel will not involve any references to cocaine, James Spader, Andrew McCarthy and Robert Downey Jr. However, it is the story about a girl from a hardscrabble section of Los Angeles who rises to the pinnacle of her profession, only to blow it away to her addiction to a very powerful drug — fame.
The film would follow Serena as she takes her braids out and begins really kicking butt on the tennis court. However, someone comes along and tells her that she is a lot more than just a tennis player. Serena seemingly overnight becomes a sex symbol and fashion plate, while her game dwindles in that same span.
Black was certainly the best color choice she had for her attire at the Kentucky Derby, because fame killed Serena Williams’ chance to become arguably the greatest women’s tennis player of her generation. Speaking of fame, where’s David Bowie or Debbie Allen when you need them?
•Paul Tagliabue stars in “The Godfather 4”: Hey may not be either Don Vito or Michael Corleone, but the retiring NFL commissioner could make offers people just could not refuse.
Just ask the good folks in Phoenix, Jacksonville, Detroit, Houston and other NFL cities that passed tax referendums to build multimillion-dollar stadiums for teams with billionaire owners. Tags punked ESPN into taking “Playmakers” off the air a couple of years ago, the same cable power the NFL virtually gave power to over a decade ago when the league awarded the once-fledgling channel some games.
Tags single-handedly kept the Saints in New Orleans while constantly flirting with Los Angeles. Work stoppages did not happen on Tags’ watch, partly because of the relationship he maintained with his consigliere — NFL Players Association head Gene Upshaw.
Tags must now watch as a new don gets to be at the helm of America’s biggest sports enterprise. Soon, even the Governator will have to kiss another man’s ring if he wants to see a pro football team in Los Angeles.
•Reggie Bush starts in “The Golden Child 2”: No Eddie Murphy here singing “I Want the Knife.” Instead, it's Bush’s stepdad telling some equally unscrupulous hack, “I want the house, please!” Wait a minute, that is more of a prequel than a sequel.
This project is still in the very early stages of development, with Bush being pegged as the biggest thing to hit New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina/Styrofoam Cups/Reebok Classics and jeans designed by Marithe and Francois Girbaud.
Just like Thomas after Easter Sunday, Saints fans want to see Bush for themselves, and they know that anything that can go wrong will go wrong whenever the New Orleans Saints are involved.
Monday, May 01, 2006
SLANT-N-GO: S&G at the movies, baby
Big-budget movie season is drawing near, and it isnever too early to pitch ideas for potentialblockbusters. The latest trend in Holly-wood is the “retread,” ormore commonly known as the remake. Remakes are easyto do because a basic premise is already known andpeople already know what happened. Throw in a coupleof young, hip stars along with some cheezy referencesto the original, and you have yourself a retread. Things operate a little differently at Slant & GoStudios. The executives in charge at S&G believe intheir own twisted versions of remakes. These remakesinvolve big-budget athletes instead of some actor typebecause athletes have more emotion in theirperformance and, well, because athletes do their ownstunts for the most part (paging Dwayne “The Rock”Johnson). The S&G brass paintstakingly developed treatments ofmotion-picture projects with some of the biggestnewsmakers in the world of sports. Some may be dramas,others may be comedies, but all of these projects havewhat it takes to rake in some major coin at thebox-office — at least that is what the folks over atS&G are hoping. Some of those closely-guarded projectsare also rumored to be linked with such big-nameddirectors like Steven Spielberg, Spike Lee and the dude that brought us “Bad Boys” and “CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation.”
•Barry Bonds stars in “Greed, Allegedly”: Thisproject is being billed as one part comedy, one partdrama. Bonds can star as one of the greatest baseballplayers of his generation that takes Gordon Gekko’s“Greed is Good” speech to heart. Watch as Bonds transforms himself to an antisocial, automatic annual 30-30 year guy to an antisocial,home-run hitting machine. It would be great if S&G could get Jack Nicholson to play the guy who allegedlygives Bonds some magical flaxseed oil that’s good formore than breaking in gloves. Cast Ray Romano as Bud Selig because, well, Romano as Selig is about 1,000 times better than Selig as Selig.Cheech Marin as Victor Conte would be hilarious. Bythe way, how about a cameo appearance by Conte’s former Tower of Power bandmate Lenny Williams. Itcould be a scene where Bonds is loving it up with hisex-mistress while Williams’ classiclove song “Cause ILove You” is softly playing in the background. It’snot exactly “The Look of Love,” but it would do.
•Marion Jones stars in “My Baby’s Daddy”: This episode of CBS drama “Without a Trace” follows this separated couple. Montgomery was arrested Friday on charges he wasconnected to a multimillion-dollar bank fraud andmoney laundering scheme. This episode will delve intowhat possibly motivated him to allegedly go thatroute, and more importanly, to find Marion Jones — whofell out of sight quicker than a mogwai when brightlights come out.
•Delmon Young in “Reckless Youth”: Watch Dmitri Young’s younger, five-tooled, brother bump umpires andsling bats at them in the minors. Also getbehind-the-scenes interviews with Tampa Bay Devil Raysofficials as they wonder second-guess the decision totake Young over Milwaukee Brewers’ second basemanRickie Weeks with the first overall pick in MLB’samateur draft in 2003. It could have that John Grisham-ish feel, with just apinch of “Desperado,” but with Young walking aroundminor league parks with a duffel bag full of woodenbats instead of Antonio Banderas walking through adusty town with a guitar case loaded with guns.
•Barry Bonds stars in “Greed, Allegedly”: Thisproject is being billed as one part comedy, one partdrama. Bonds can star as one of the greatest baseballplayers of his generation that takes Gordon Gekko’s“Greed is Good” speech to heart. Watch as Bonds transforms himself to an antisocial, automatic annual 30-30 year guy to an antisocial,home-run hitting machine. It would be great if S&G could get Jack Nicholson to play the guy who allegedlygives Bonds some magical flaxseed oil that’s good formore than breaking in gloves. Cast Ray Romano as Bud Selig because, well, Romano as Selig is about 1,000 times better than Selig as Selig.Cheech Marin as Victor Conte would be hilarious. Bythe way, how about a cameo appearance by Conte’s former Tower of Power bandmate Lenny Williams. Itcould be a scene where Bonds is loving it up with hisex-mistress while Williams’ classiclove song “Cause ILove You” is softly playing in the background. It’snot exactly “The Look of Love,” but it would do.
•Marion Jones stars in “My Baby’s Daddy”: This episode of CBS drama “Without a Trace” follows this separated couple. Montgomery was arrested Friday on charges he wasconnected to a multimillion-dollar bank fraud andmoney laundering scheme. This episode will delve intowhat possibly motivated him to allegedly go thatroute, and more importanly, to find Marion Jones — whofell out of sight quicker than a mogwai when brightlights come out.
•Delmon Young in “Reckless Youth”: Watch Dmitri Young’s younger, five-tooled, brother bump umpires andsling bats at them in the minors. Also getbehind-the-scenes interviews with Tampa Bay Devil Raysofficials as they wonder second-guess the decision totake Young over Milwaukee Brewers’ second basemanRickie Weeks with the first overall pick in MLB’samateur draft in 2003. It could have that John Grisham-ish feel, with just apinch of “Desperado,” but with Young walking aroundminor league parks with a duffel bag full of woodenbats instead of Antonio Banderas walking through adusty town with a guitar case loaded with guns.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Violators: Beware of "The Code"
Violators: Beware of "The Code"
(Originally published in April 16 edition of The Hammond (La.) Daily Star)
There are several codes out there in existence — key, DiVinci, Morse and Napoleonic to name a few. There is one code that supersedes them all in the world of sports, “The G Code.”
The G-Code is more than simply than a hip, catchy phrase. It is an unwritten code based upon the Golden Rule that quietly governs us all and provides order.
Just like any law or code, there are acts that bring forth violations of the code and there are violators that commit such acts.
What does this have to do with sports? A lot, actually. Sports are also governed by unwritten codes that are strictly adhered to. Violations of those unspoken laws have resulted in bench-clearing brawls and ring-filling fights.
Are you still a disbeliever? Here’s a recent list of code offenders along with the year they committed the offense and a description of that offense.
•Zab Judah, butt-kicking recipient (2006): Judah, overwhelmed by Floyd Mayweather Jr. a week ago in their welterweight title fight, punched Mayweather in the groin and behind the head. Judah’s actions incited an in-ring riot between his entourage and Mayweather’s corner.
•Chris Paul, lead-pipe lock for NBA Rookie of the Year (2005): In Paul’s last season at Wake Forest, he reached around North Carolina State’s Julius Hodge and punched him in the groin in an ACC tournament game.
•Rafael Palmeiro, ex-Viagra pitchman (2005): He lied to Congress about using performance-enhancing drugs with finger-pointing and tough talk. Weeks later, drug tests showed he was juicing up. Raffy’s response: It might have been the “B-12 shots” that Miguel Tejada gave him. Officials tested Tejada’s stuff, and it was actually vitamin B-12.
•Kobe Bean Bryant, shotaholic (2004): When hemmed up by law enforcement in Colorado, he told them he should have done what Shaquille O’Neal does. According to police reports, Bryant alleged the Big Aristotle paid off women not to say anything about him. Bryant added the Diesel had paid up to $1 million in hush money for situations like Kobe’s Eagle, Colo., fiasco.
A teammate will not give it his or her all for a teammate that put someone else under the bus in an attempt to save one’s skin or make oneself look good. Speaking of that, that brings us to another G-Code violator:
•Terrell Eldorado Owens, primadonna (2000-present): Owens questioned quarterback Jeff Garcia’s play and sexuality while they were together in San Francisco. He demanded to go to Philly, and raved about how good Donovan McNabb is. After the Eagles lost to the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX, he bashed McNabb, his play and leadership abilities while portraying himself up as the gallant warrior.
Owens later put Eagles management under the bus and portrayed himself as a victimized football player that signed a bad contract. He fought Hugh Douglas in the locker room, made a rap song dissing the Eagles and auditioned for an infomercial for exercise equipment outside of his home. That’s just the stuff that’s easily remembered.
All five of the examples do have consequences. All five lost a measure of respect, which is arguably the most important commodity in sports. A man punching another man in the nether regions in a non life-threatening situation, or when John Doe implicates James Doe in a situation that does not involve James Doe, are extremely serious G-Code violations.
There is another aspect of sports that gets strained due to these code violations, and that is chemistry. Teams require some kind of symbiotic loyalty in order to be successful, and that loyalty hinges a lot on respect. No teammate will put himself or herself on the line if he or she does not respect another teammate that pulled off some highly questionable stuff.
Stealing signs and head-hunting in baseball, sending the "goon" in to commit fouls in basketball and chop blocks in football are all serious violations as well. They basically equate to the aforementioned scenarios in the G-Code. Brawls and disagreements have broken out over those things in the past, and will continue as long as people are willing to violate the code.
(Originally published in April 16 edition of The Hammond (La.) Daily Star)
There are several codes out there in existence — key, DiVinci, Morse and Napoleonic to name a few. There is one code that supersedes them all in the world of sports, “The G Code.”
The G-Code is more than simply than a hip, catchy phrase. It is an unwritten code based upon the Golden Rule that quietly governs us all and provides order.
Just like any law or code, there are acts that bring forth violations of the code and there are violators that commit such acts.
What does this have to do with sports? A lot, actually. Sports are also governed by unwritten codes that are strictly adhered to. Violations of those unspoken laws have resulted in bench-clearing brawls and ring-filling fights.
Are you still a disbeliever? Here’s a recent list of code offenders along with the year they committed the offense and a description of that offense.
•Zab Judah, butt-kicking recipient (2006): Judah, overwhelmed by Floyd Mayweather Jr. a week ago in their welterweight title fight, punched Mayweather in the groin and behind the head. Judah’s actions incited an in-ring riot between his entourage and Mayweather’s corner.
•Chris Paul, lead-pipe lock for NBA Rookie of the Year (2005): In Paul’s last season at Wake Forest, he reached around North Carolina State’s Julius Hodge and punched him in the groin in an ACC tournament game.
•Rafael Palmeiro, ex-Viagra pitchman (2005): He lied to Congress about using performance-enhancing drugs with finger-pointing and tough talk. Weeks later, drug tests showed he was juicing up. Raffy’s response: It might have been the “B-12 shots” that Miguel Tejada gave him. Officials tested Tejada’s stuff, and it was actually vitamin B-12.
•Kobe Bean Bryant, shotaholic (2004): When hemmed up by law enforcement in Colorado, he told them he should have done what Shaquille O’Neal does. According to police reports, Bryant alleged the Big Aristotle paid off women not to say anything about him. Bryant added the Diesel had paid up to $1 million in hush money for situations like Kobe’s Eagle, Colo., fiasco.
A teammate will not give it his or her all for a teammate that put someone else under the bus in an attempt to save one’s skin or make oneself look good. Speaking of that, that brings us to another G-Code violator:
•Terrell Eldorado Owens, primadonna (2000-present): Owens questioned quarterback Jeff Garcia’s play and sexuality while they were together in San Francisco. He demanded to go to Philly, and raved about how good Donovan McNabb is. After the Eagles lost to the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX, he bashed McNabb, his play and leadership abilities while portraying himself up as the gallant warrior.
Owens later put Eagles management under the bus and portrayed himself as a victimized football player that signed a bad contract. He fought Hugh Douglas in the locker room, made a rap song dissing the Eagles and auditioned for an infomercial for exercise equipment outside of his home. That’s just the stuff that’s easily remembered.
All five of the examples do have consequences. All five lost a measure of respect, which is arguably the most important commodity in sports. A man punching another man in the nether regions in a non life-threatening situation, or when John Doe implicates James Doe in a situation that does not involve James Doe, are extremely serious G-Code violations.
There is another aspect of sports that gets strained due to these code violations, and that is chemistry. Teams require some kind of symbiotic loyalty in order to be successful, and that loyalty hinges a lot on respect. No teammate will put himself or herself on the line if he or she does not respect another teammate that pulled off some highly questionable stuff.
Stealing signs and head-hunting in baseball, sending the "goon" in to commit fouls in basketball and chop blocks in football are all serious violations as well. They basically equate to the aforementioned scenarios in the G-Code. Brawls and disagreements have broken out over those things in the past, and will continue as long as people are willing to violate the code.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
SLANT-N-GO: Overloaded LSU Bandwagon Deflates Tigers
Originally appeared in April 3, 2006 edition of the Hammond (La.) Daily Star.
Rapper Mike Jones is noted for the following lyric: “Back then, they didn’t want me. Now I’m hot, they’re all on me.”
The same applied to LSU’s men’s basketball team and coach John Brady before the Tigers’ run to the Final Four ended abruptly at the hands of UCLA.
The road to Indianapolis was long for the Tigers’ basketball program, both figuratively and literally — much longer than the 847 miles it takes to go from Baton Rouge to ‘Nap Town’.
The only thing is, they took a lot more people on the bus than they expected. The LSU bandwagon could have filled Tiger Stadium, which sits across the street from and casts a long shadow upon the Pete Maravich Assembly Center.
Brady’s basketball team has been fourth on the popularity charts on the LSU campus — behind football, baseball and the Seimone Augustus-led Lady Tigers — for a long time now. That’s despite the fact LSU averaged 21 wins a season since 2001-02 and qualified for postseason play each year since the ’01-02 campaign (two postseason NIT bids and three NCAA tourney appearances).
LSU men’s basketball games at the PMAC haven’t exactly been hot tickets, despite the success of the Tigers. Home attendance averaged just over 8,100 in 2001 and officially increased to 9,469 this season, but the arena holds 13,472 in its men’s basketball setup. The team has not cracked Division I’s top 25 in home attendance in any of Brady’s nine years at the helm, only averaging over 10,000 in 1999-2000 — the Tigers’ Sweet 16 year.
Radio shows and newspapers have criticized Brady and the team constantly over the years, and the players heard it all.
Glen “Big Baby” Davis wanted to ask reporters about the criticism hurled at the team after their Final Four-clinching win over Texas, but he did not get the chance. Tyrus Thomas said he felt they were still the underdog and the media and fans heaped praised upon them solely because the Tigers are one of only four teams left with a shot at the national championship.
They went from SEC regular season champs to tourney dark horse to the biggest thing to hit Louisiana since high-speed Internet access in the matter of weeks. The Tigers were been tabbed as ambassadors of post Katrina/Rita Louisiana, Davis became a less-threatening version of young Charles Barkley with his gift of gab and play on the court, and the trampoline-legged Thomas’ name has been splattered across various NBA draftnik Web sites as a potential lottery pick.
They went from afterthought to having Gov. Kathleen Blanco declaring Friday “Purple-and-Gold Day” and visiting them on the campus. Blanco, along with other head honchos and new-found Tiger fans, took the trip to the RCA Dome and cheered on the Tigers.
In lame teen movie terminology, LSU went from the geeky girl that sat alone for lunch to the prom queen everybody wanted to either date or be friends with. Just like those teen movies and their contrived plots, the Tigers turned themselves from geek to chic, much the surprised delight of most but to the Tigers’ own chagrin.
No wonder Brady closed practices to the public before the team left for Indianapolis. All the new-found popularity was enough for a no-frills guy like Brady to break out into hives and heebie-jeebies. A coach like Brady — who took the job in 1997 in the wake of “Lester Earl-gate” and NCAA sanctions — and a team like the defensive-minded Tigers did not need the kudos.
The extra passengers and their baggage on the bandwagon slowed the Tigers down — as evidenced Saturday night.
Turning them into the favorite, like prognosticators and fans done in days leading into the game, seemed to take their edge away and shrunk that once-huge chip on their shoulders. Maybe all the hoopla started to get to the young Tigers and they started to drink the Kool-Aid.
Ultimately, the weight of the bandwagon was too much for the team to bear. Like Icarus getting his waxed wings too close to the sun, the Tigers came down crashing from their hoops euphoria. The moral of the story: check the capacity limit sign at the front of the bandwagon before jumping on.
Rapper Mike Jones is noted for the following lyric: “Back then, they didn’t want me. Now I’m hot, they’re all on me.”
The same applied to LSU’s men’s basketball team and coach John Brady before the Tigers’ run to the Final Four ended abruptly at the hands of UCLA.
The road to Indianapolis was long for the Tigers’ basketball program, both figuratively and literally — much longer than the 847 miles it takes to go from Baton Rouge to ‘Nap Town’.
The only thing is, they took a lot more people on the bus than they expected. The LSU bandwagon could have filled Tiger Stadium, which sits across the street from and casts a long shadow upon the Pete Maravich Assembly Center.
Brady’s basketball team has been fourth on the popularity charts on the LSU campus — behind football, baseball and the Seimone Augustus-led Lady Tigers — for a long time now. That’s despite the fact LSU averaged 21 wins a season since 2001-02 and qualified for postseason play each year since the ’01-02 campaign (two postseason NIT bids and three NCAA tourney appearances).
LSU men’s basketball games at the PMAC haven’t exactly been hot tickets, despite the success of the Tigers. Home attendance averaged just over 8,100 in 2001 and officially increased to 9,469 this season, but the arena holds 13,472 in its men’s basketball setup. The team has not cracked Division I’s top 25 in home attendance in any of Brady’s nine years at the helm, only averaging over 10,000 in 1999-2000 — the Tigers’ Sweet 16 year.
Radio shows and newspapers have criticized Brady and the team constantly over the years, and the players heard it all.
Glen “Big Baby” Davis wanted to ask reporters about the criticism hurled at the team after their Final Four-clinching win over Texas, but he did not get the chance. Tyrus Thomas said he felt they were still the underdog and the media and fans heaped praised upon them solely because the Tigers are one of only four teams left with a shot at the national championship.
They went from SEC regular season champs to tourney dark horse to the biggest thing to hit Louisiana since high-speed Internet access in the matter of weeks. The Tigers were been tabbed as ambassadors of post Katrina/Rita Louisiana, Davis became a less-threatening version of young Charles Barkley with his gift of gab and play on the court, and the trampoline-legged Thomas’ name has been splattered across various NBA draftnik Web sites as a potential lottery pick.
They went from afterthought to having Gov. Kathleen Blanco declaring Friday “Purple-and-Gold Day” and visiting them on the campus. Blanco, along with other head honchos and new-found Tiger fans, took the trip to the RCA Dome and cheered on the Tigers.
In lame teen movie terminology, LSU went from the geeky girl that sat alone for lunch to the prom queen everybody wanted to either date or be friends with. Just like those teen movies and their contrived plots, the Tigers turned themselves from geek to chic, much the surprised delight of most but to the Tigers’ own chagrin.
No wonder Brady closed practices to the public before the team left for Indianapolis. All the new-found popularity was enough for a no-frills guy like Brady to break out into hives and heebie-jeebies. A coach like Brady — who took the job in 1997 in the wake of “Lester Earl-gate” and NCAA sanctions — and a team like the defensive-minded Tigers did not need the kudos.
The extra passengers and their baggage on the bandwagon slowed the Tigers down — as evidenced Saturday night.
Turning them into the favorite, like prognosticators and fans done in days leading into the game, seemed to take their edge away and shrunk that once-huge chip on their shoulders. Maybe all the hoopla started to get to the young Tigers and they started to drink the Kool-Aid.
Ultimately, the weight of the bandwagon was too much for the team to bear. Like Icarus getting his waxed wings too close to the sun, the Tigers came down crashing from their hoops euphoria. The moral of the story: check the capacity limit sign at the front of the bandwagon before jumping on.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Recruiting Madness...It's overrated
Excerpt from Feb. 5, 2005 column
The college football recruting game is not exactly "The Crying Game," but it's a dramatic thriller. It's also something similar to the TV dating show "Elimidate," where a person has to sift through four or five suitors and goes through the process of elimination until he figures out which one he likes the best—and commits to one of them at the end of the show.
However, celebrating National Signing Day like it's a legitimate holiday is basically a waste of time and energy. It's celebrating buying a lottery ticket before the numbers come out. It is, without a doubt, the most overrated day of the year in college football.
The excitement over potential stars and role players is equivalent of how some adults get excited after their fantasy football drafts, but this time some of these adults are getting excited over 17- through 21-year-old young men who are weeks away from either graduating from high school or transferring from other institutions.
Folks argue day and night about who they have coming to their school while a dozen or so web sites try to tell you who has the top recruiting class among the over 300 Division I schools. These web sites and self-described recruiting gurus then decide who are the best (insert number between one through 200) high school players in the United States of America. Bear in mind there are over 100,000 high schools with over 16 million students enrolled in the U.S. right now.
Sure, it's fun to project and predict and prognosticate where these players will go, However, this whole recruiting thing is a giant crap shoot. These potential players are lured, seduced, enticed, goaded and other similar words when the schools that are doing the luring only have an idea of what they are getting.
In some cases, the young man could be academically ineligible to play right away. In others, he could become homesick and not want to be at the school no more or he just did not meet expectations placed upon him. There are many variables that determine whether not—pardon the use of the following cliché—he's a stud or a dud.
Despite the lack of love for recruiting season, the hoopla of National Signing Day and the parties surrounding a fax machine and hours of highlight tapes, there is some merit to it. Not only is recruiting the lifeblood of a college football program, but Wednesday officially marked the start of the 2006 season. Spring practices are merely weeks away and the schedule should be common public knowledge in the summer.
The college football recruting game is not exactly "The Crying Game," but it's a dramatic thriller. It's also something similar to the TV dating show "Elimidate," where a person has to sift through four or five suitors and goes through the process of elimination until he figures out which one he likes the best—and commits to one of them at the end of the show.
However, celebrating National Signing Day like it's a legitimate holiday is basically a waste of time and energy. It's celebrating buying a lottery ticket before the numbers come out. It is, without a doubt, the most overrated day of the year in college football.
The excitement over potential stars and role players is equivalent of how some adults get excited after their fantasy football drafts, but this time some of these adults are getting excited over 17- through 21-year-old young men who are weeks away from either graduating from high school or transferring from other institutions.
Folks argue day and night about who they have coming to their school while a dozen or so web sites try to tell you who has the top recruiting class among the over 300 Division I schools. These web sites and self-described recruiting gurus then decide who are the best (insert number between one through 200) high school players in the United States of America. Bear in mind there are over 100,000 high schools with over 16 million students enrolled in the U.S. right now.
Sure, it's fun to project and predict and prognosticate where these players will go, However, this whole recruiting thing is a giant crap shoot. These potential players are lured, seduced, enticed, goaded and other similar words when the schools that are doing the luring only have an idea of what they are getting.
In some cases, the young man could be academically ineligible to play right away. In others, he could become homesick and not want to be at the school no more or he just did not meet expectations placed upon him. There are many variables that determine whether not—pardon the use of the following cliché—he's a stud or a dud.
Despite the lack of love for recruiting season, the hoopla of National Signing Day and the parties surrounding a fax machine and hours of highlight tapes, there is some merit to it. Not only is recruiting the lifeblood of a college football program, but Wednesday officially marked the start of the 2006 season. Spring practices are merely weeks away and the schedule should be common public knowledge in the summer.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Slant-N-Go: No Loyalty
This appeared in the Daily Star's Jan. 1 edition. Happy New Year, bitches!!!!!!
BTW: I'll do my best to update this thing more regularly
The year 2005 has ended, and many folks out there compiled or read the obligatory "year-in-review" columns and checklists.
The obvious stories will get mentioned, such as Hurricane Katrina's impact, Lance Armstrong winning his upteenth-straight Tour deFrance and Rafael Palmeiro's pontificating before Congress before he was netted in Major League Baseball's steroids dragnet...and his subsequent backtracking and double-talk.
However, there is one word that may be easily omitted from these glimpses in recent sports history—loyalty. Sports fans, from the die-hard aficionados to the most casual, were dealt with lessons reminding them that loyalty to sports is sort of like your uncle's 8-track player: totally useless in this day and age.
Think about it for a second, or two or maybe even three. There were some not-so-shining examples of disloyalty in the previous 52 weeks. The list is littered with literally Who's Who in the world of sports. Only the reality TV show "Cheaters" displayed as much disloyalty in 2005.
Now, this is not limited to the athletes themselves. That would have been too easy. Disloyalty in sports is like skin, it goes from top to bottom. So for every Ron Artest trade demand or Terrell Owens tirade, there's a Tom Benson trying to Baltimore Colts the New Orleans Saints to San Antonio or Larry Brown playing the runaway bride with his coaching jobs for the -nth time.
Speaking of Larry Brown, it seemed like he finally settled down this time a year ago with a Detroit team built around his mantra of "playing the right way." He sold the Pistons out as he entertained job offers and rumors during the playoffs and bolted to the Knicks after the season ended. What did Detroit do? They went got a coach, Flip Saunders, who was malcontented out of Minnesota. The results: Well, Detroit has the NBA's best record while the Knicks look destined to watch the ping-pong balls of the NBA lottery this summer.
Down in Miami, Pat Riley basically strongarmed Stan Van Gundy out of the Heat's head coaching job. That statement Van Gundy, virtually a long-time employee of the Heat, gave was pure trash. If Van Gundy really quit the job to stay with his family more, then Osama bin Laden will show up in Las Vegas to compete in the next World Series of Poker.
So what about Johnny Damon leaving icon status and his facial hair behind in Boston to don the pinstripes of the "Evil Empire?" That's no different from when Art Modell hauled the original Cleveland Browns out of the city, dressed them in purple and named them the Baltimore Ravens.
Also, so what if T.O. was trying to extort the Eagles for more money? Benson has extorted the state for years while the family that owns the Arizona Cardinals extorted that state's Tourism and Sports Authority for an estimated $355 million to build a new stadium for a losing team. By the way, the state is paying for 75 percent of the construction.
Maybe loyalty has a price tag. If so, then sports fans should just put down the Sports Illustrated, stop watching "Sportscenter" and begin watching "Rambo" movies and reading Soldier of Fortune.
BTW: I'll do my best to update this thing more regularly
The year 2005 has ended, and many folks out there compiled or read the obligatory "year-in-review" columns and checklists.
The obvious stories will get mentioned, such as Hurricane Katrina's impact, Lance Armstrong winning his upteenth-straight Tour deFrance and Rafael Palmeiro's pontificating before Congress before he was netted in Major League Baseball's steroids dragnet...and his subsequent backtracking and double-talk.
However, there is one word that may be easily omitted from these glimpses in recent sports history—loyalty. Sports fans, from the die-hard aficionados to the most casual, were dealt with lessons reminding them that loyalty to sports is sort of like your uncle's 8-track player: totally useless in this day and age.
Think about it for a second, or two or maybe even three. There were some not-so-shining examples of disloyalty in the previous 52 weeks. The list is littered with literally Who's Who in the world of sports. Only the reality TV show "Cheaters" displayed as much disloyalty in 2005.
Now, this is not limited to the athletes themselves. That would have been too easy. Disloyalty in sports is like skin, it goes from top to bottom. So for every Ron Artest trade demand or Terrell Owens tirade, there's a Tom Benson trying to Baltimore Colts the New Orleans Saints to San Antonio or Larry Brown playing the runaway bride with his coaching jobs for the -nth time.
Speaking of Larry Brown, it seemed like he finally settled down this time a year ago with a Detroit team built around his mantra of "playing the right way." He sold the Pistons out as he entertained job offers and rumors during the playoffs and bolted to the Knicks after the season ended. What did Detroit do? They went got a coach, Flip Saunders, who was malcontented out of Minnesota. The results: Well, Detroit has the NBA's best record while the Knicks look destined to watch the ping-pong balls of the NBA lottery this summer.
Down in Miami, Pat Riley basically strongarmed Stan Van Gundy out of the Heat's head coaching job. That statement Van Gundy, virtually a long-time employee of the Heat, gave was pure trash. If Van Gundy really quit the job to stay with his family more, then Osama bin Laden will show up in Las Vegas to compete in the next World Series of Poker.
So what about Johnny Damon leaving icon status and his facial hair behind in Boston to don the pinstripes of the "Evil Empire?" That's no different from when Art Modell hauled the original Cleveland Browns out of the city, dressed them in purple and named them the Baltimore Ravens.
Also, so what if T.O. was trying to extort the Eagles for more money? Benson has extorted the state for years while the family that owns the Arizona Cardinals extorted that state's Tourism and Sports Authority for an estimated $355 million to build a new stadium for a losing team. By the way, the state is paying for 75 percent of the construction.
Maybe loyalty has a price tag. If so, then sports fans should just put down the Sports Illustrated, stop watching "Sportscenter" and begin watching "Rambo" movies and reading Soldier of Fortune.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Fred vs. The Flying Squirrel
I have seen many things in my now 27 years on planet Earth, but what I'm about to tell you can clearly take the cake.
White people fighting: I've seen it, funny as hell but nothing like this.
Crackheads running out of a women's clothing store with an armful of clothes: funny as hell, but nothing like this.
A dog attack a duck outside of Southern University's Mayberrry Cafeteria: something out of "Trials of Life" and Discovery Channel, but not like this.
Ladies and Gentlemen...I'm from Maringouin, La. (pop. 1,200 est.), a small country town where the people hunt. Which means, you can see deer, rabbit, alligator and other game killed, skinned and grilled all in the same day. However, not even my country upbringing prepared me for what happened Saturday night.
It's Saturday, about midnightish-1 a.m.-ish and I was taking my beloved Southern Jaguars to the Big Dance on NCAA March Madness 2006 on the PS2. I heard a noise, but dismissed it as something falling because the house is under some renovation. I kept hearing noises and turn on the livving room lights to see what was going on.
Lo and behold there was a furry woodland creature sitting atop the curtains. I thought it was a squirrel, but it didn't look like the squirrels I normally see. It was a flying squirrel (run a search for "flying squirrel" on http://www.google.com to see pics of what I was seeing).
Apparently, the squirrel had came in from the fireplace. I tried to help the little creature out of the door, but that muthaf--ka lept and flew over my head (bear in mind, I'm 6'3"). I don't scare easily, but that shit amazed the hell out of me. I ducked as it flew over about 10 feet to another part of the living room.
I still had a broom in my hand, but that thing went like Ricochet Rabbit and bounced off the stereo, off the couch and back atop the curtains on the other side of the living room. I flushed it over to the end of the curtain, and by this time I had a box in my hands trying to capture it and get it out the house. It jumped down to the entertainment center, on the TV, and scurried ACROSS MY FEET to the other side of the living room.
The blessing in disguise is that it ran into the kitchen, where most of the renovating was going on. There was nothing for it to jump on and I got that damned squirrel out of the house.
What did I do after that? Sat down, played the Deuce some more, shake my head and say "Wow!"
The End.
White people fighting: I've seen it, funny as hell but nothing like this.
Crackheads running out of a women's clothing store with an armful of clothes: funny as hell, but nothing like this.
A dog attack a duck outside of Southern University's Mayberrry Cafeteria: something out of "Trials of Life" and Discovery Channel, but not like this.
Ladies and Gentlemen...I'm from Maringouin, La. (pop. 1,200 est.), a small country town where the people hunt. Which means, you can see deer, rabbit, alligator and other game killed, skinned and grilled all in the same day. However, not even my country upbringing prepared me for what happened Saturday night.
It's Saturday, about midnightish-1 a.m.-ish and I was taking my beloved Southern Jaguars to the Big Dance on NCAA March Madness 2006 on the PS2. I heard a noise, but dismissed it as something falling because the house is under some renovation. I kept hearing noises and turn on the livving room lights to see what was going on.
Lo and behold there was a furry woodland creature sitting atop the curtains. I thought it was a squirrel, but it didn't look like the squirrels I normally see. It was a flying squirrel (run a search for "flying squirrel" on http://www.google.com to see pics of what I was seeing).
Apparently, the squirrel had came in from the fireplace. I tried to help the little creature out of the door, but that muthaf--ka lept and flew over my head (bear in mind, I'm 6'3"). I don't scare easily, but that shit amazed the hell out of me. I ducked as it flew over about 10 feet to another part of the living room.
I still had a broom in my hand, but that thing went like Ricochet Rabbit and bounced off the stereo, off the couch and back atop the curtains on the other side of the living room. I flushed it over to the end of the curtain, and by this time I had a box in my hands trying to capture it and get it out the house. It jumped down to the entertainment center, on the TV, and scurried ACROSS MY FEET to the other side of the living room.
The blessing in disguise is that it ran into the kitchen, where most of the renovating was going on. There was nothing for it to jump on and I got that damned squirrel out of the house.
What did I do after that? Sat down, played the Deuce some more, shake my head and say "Wow!"
The End.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Confessions of a 'Rasslin Fan
I, Fredrick J. Batiste, of sound mind and body, confess to being a fan of professional wrestling AKA "'rasslin.'"
Now, let me clarify some things.
1. Wrestling is a sport. Wrestling is what Kurt Angle got his gold medal in the 1996 Olympics in, it's what the University of Iowa is best known for and it's one of Earth's oldest (and most basic/primal) sports.
2. " 'Rasslin'" is sports-based entertainment. It's what Mid-South Wrestling, Memphis Wrestling, Dallas-based World Class Championship Wrestling, Charlotte-based Mid Atlantic, the old NWA, the old AWA that used to come on ESPN when it showed sports used to be.
ECW was a 'rasslin' organization, although it had some violence in it. The upstart TNA promotion, now seen on Spike TV, is a blend of 'rasslin' and "sports entertainment."
3. Sports entertainment was the WWF and is the WWE nowadays. They're the ones that mass-marketed "Hulkamania" in the 80s, gave us Degeneration X and "suck it" in the 90s, "Austin 3:16," "Layeth the Smackethdown" and a bunch of other stuff.
Now, I grew up during the 'rasslin era, in which pro wrestling was territory-based. Folks in the A would watch Georgia/World Championship Wrestling on TBS while Dallas folk watched Mid-South and folks in VA watched Mid-Atlantic.
Back in the 'rasslin days, the wrestlers weren't as ungodly athletic as they are now, but they wrestled for no less than 30 minutes and talked less than the monologues we're inundated with today on cable TV. Back in the 'rasslin days a DDT would end the match or a well-placed steel chair would end the match. Nowadyas that just buys a little time.
ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling) reminded me of the old-school stuff, although they had tables, barbed wire and other stuff. But the matches were long with an old-school pace and mixed in the athleticism now seen today.
WWE won out against Time-Warner susidiary WCW and picked up ECW's pieces when ECW went belly up. With no competition to make things better, WWE has been hella lazy, but "sports-entertainment" is supposed to be lazy.
See sports entertainment has half-nekkid women prancing around (which i like), a whole lot of talking and a lot less in-ring action. C'mon, you can give Paul Levesque, AKA Triple-H, AKA Boss's son-in-law, 15 mins to talk on a 2-hour show, but only put on 4 matches each Monday.
I know it's like Soap Operas for men, but it's down right disgusting nowadays. Who do I have to blame for it. Vince McMahon? No. I blame......THE NFL!
Back in the day, the NFL had this thing called "Monday Night Football." It was friggin' great man. Sixteen weeks of football, 16 great games. However, something went wrong, and ABC started putting on crappy games (with the exception of the mandated Jets-Dolphins thriller) every week and the male audience searched for an alternative. They went to sports entertainment.
NFL never recovered, they went from Howard Cossell, who was made famous by Muhammad Ali and didn't know jack shit about football--to Dennis Miller, who was made famous by Lorne Michaels and didn't know jack shit about football.
Madden on Monday nights? Only good on your PS2 or X-Box. Madden's quips don't get me going like back when he was on fox with Pat Summerrall. Al Michaels is good, but Madden-Summerrall was the best football play-by-play duo ever. So now NFL is moving MNF to ESPN, which really sucks, but probably won't prevent them from throwing crap up on the tube.
Thank goodness Ultimate Fighting is on basic cable!!!!
Now, let me clarify some things.
1. Wrestling is a sport. Wrestling is what Kurt Angle got his gold medal in the 1996 Olympics in, it's what the University of Iowa is best known for and it's one of Earth's oldest (and most basic/primal) sports.
2. " 'Rasslin'" is sports-based entertainment. It's what Mid-South Wrestling, Memphis Wrestling, Dallas-based World Class Championship Wrestling, Charlotte-based Mid Atlantic, the old NWA, the old AWA that used to come on ESPN when it showed sports used to be.
ECW was a 'rasslin' organization, although it had some violence in it. The upstart TNA promotion, now seen on Spike TV, is a blend of 'rasslin' and "sports entertainment."
3. Sports entertainment was the WWF and is the WWE nowadays. They're the ones that mass-marketed "Hulkamania" in the 80s, gave us Degeneration X and "suck it" in the 90s, "Austin 3:16," "Layeth the Smackethdown" and a bunch of other stuff.
Now, I grew up during the 'rasslin era, in which pro wrestling was territory-based. Folks in the A would watch Georgia/World Championship Wrestling on TBS while Dallas folk watched Mid-South and folks in VA watched Mid-Atlantic.
Back in the 'rasslin days, the wrestlers weren't as ungodly athletic as they are now, but they wrestled for no less than 30 minutes and talked less than the monologues we're inundated with today on cable TV. Back in the 'rasslin days a DDT would end the match or a well-placed steel chair would end the match. Nowadyas that just buys a little time.
ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling) reminded me of the old-school stuff, although they had tables, barbed wire and other stuff. But the matches were long with an old-school pace and mixed in the athleticism now seen today.
WWE won out against Time-Warner susidiary WCW and picked up ECW's pieces when ECW went belly up. With no competition to make things better, WWE has been hella lazy, but "sports-entertainment" is supposed to be lazy.
See sports entertainment has half-nekkid women prancing around (which i like), a whole lot of talking and a lot less in-ring action. C'mon, you can give Paul Levesque, AKA Triple-H, AKA Boss's son-in-law, 15 mins to talk on a 2-hour show, but only put on 4 matches each Monday.
I know it's like Soap Operas for men, but it's down right disgusting nowadays. Who do I have to blame for it. Vince McMahon? No. I blame......THE NFL!
Back in the day, the NFL had this thing called "Monday Night Football." It was friggin' great man. Sixteen weeks of football, 16 great games. However, something went wrong, and ABC started putting on crappy games (with the exception of the mandated Jets-Dolphins thriller) every week and the male audience searched for an alternative. They went to sports entertainment.
NFL never recovered, they went from Howard Cossell, who was made famous by Muhammad Ali and didn't know jack shit about football--to Dennis Miller, who was made famous by Lorne Michaels and didn't know jack shit about football.
Madden on Monday nights? Only good on your PS2 or X-Box. Madden's quips don't get me going like back when he was on fox with Pat Summerrall. Al Michaels is good, but Madden-Summerrall was the best football play-by-play duo ever. So now NFL is moving MNF to ESPN, which really sucks, but probably won't prevent them from throwing crap up on the tube.
Thank goodness Ultimate Fighting is on basic cable!!!!
Monday, September 26, 2005
Slant & Go: Some stories aren't getting told
(NOTE: This column ran in the Sept. 25, 2005 edition of The Hammmond (La.) Daily Star).
SLANT-N-GO
By Fred Batiste
Three weeks have passed since Hurricane Katrina cut a swath of destruction, despair and calamity through southeast Louisiana and the Mississippi Gulf Coast. The Saints and Tulane sports have been scattered throughout the south, like many of the residents of south Louisiana. Southeastern, Nicholls State, LSU and Southern all have canceled games due to Katrina's wake.
Stories hit the wire about how many of some of our favorite professional athletes' hometowns were effected by Katrina. Camera crews followed Brett Farve as he surveyed storm-strewn Kiln, Miss. NBA players hastily gathered in Houston, putting up $10,000 of their own money each, to play a charity game to raise money. George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton hit the airwaves to raise funds.
Something felt missing, however. It seemed as though some stories were not being told, let alone being told enough. People read about LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell put up blues legend Fats Domino in his on-campus apartment for a spell, where Domino later hooked up with family friends after being rescued. The story of Southeastern's Keithshone Dantzler, however, was not given to as large of an audience.
Lions' head coach Dennis Roland's voice was dripped with concern when he said one of his players went unaccounted for after the hurricane. Dantzler went to New Orleans to be with his mother before the storm hit, but Roland said he could not get out of the city in time. Dantzler made contact days after the storm and he and his mother are safe.
Chicago Bulls' guard Chris Duhon, a Slidell native, did not have a televised tour of his hometown after the storm. Duhon sent supplies back home and talked about stories he had heard. One of those stories was probably the condition of the town and Salmen High, his alma mater. St. Thomas Aquinas football coach Randy Johnson said he has a son that lives next to Salmen and gave him an update on the school.
"When I tell you there's no Salmen High School, there's no Salmen High School," Johnson said.
Peyton and Eli Manning sent supplies to evacuees and visited them in Baton Rouge. Cameras were there, with reporters in tow. Little to no ink on Marshall Faulk, who came out of the Ninth Ward's Desire Street Housing Projects to become a future Hall of Famer and has given thousands of dollars back to his old neighborhood. No real coverage on how the storm affected athletes like Indianapolis Colts receiver Reggie Wayne of Marrero, WNBA Rookie of the Year Tameka Johnson of New Orleans or World Wrestling Entertainment performer John Heidenreich of New Orleans.
Even Shaq himself, the giant man he is, received a smidgen of coverage as he and his wife shipped supplies to evacuees. Nothing was made of the fact that NBA pariah Ron Artest was one of those players in that charity game in Houston, and reports from people there said Artest was the nicest guy there. Stephon Marbury friggin' cried as he announce he was donating between $500,000 and $1 million to relief efforts, and Marbury's from Brooklyn.
Any network TV interviews? Any extended coverage? There could have been - with all the channels satellite and digital cable television provides - but it was probably few and far between.
It is refreshing to know that these spoiled, egotistical, me-first professional athletes do know what truly is important to life. It is refreshing to know that these people who make these ludicrous sums of money and have literally everything show they actually care and put for the effort to help those who have absolutely nothing but each other right now. It is also situations like these that show the rest of the world that athletes and other celebrities are just as vulnerable to disaster as everyday people, and they are not as removed from reality as some think.
It is unfortunate the general public is not seeing or hearing it all, and probably will not see or hear it either.
Now, as Hurricane Rita bears down on southwest Louisiana and south Texas, you wonder if more coverage will be devoted to how Roger Clemens fared while stories about George Foreman, Donald Driver, Keenan McCardell and others get brushed to the back pages.
SLANT-N-GO
By Fred Batiste
Three weeks have passed since Hurricane Katrina cut a swath of destruction, despair and calamity through southeast Louisiana and the Mississippi Gulf Coast. The Saints and Tulane sports have been scattered throughout the south, like many of the residents of south Louisiana. Southeastern, Nicholls State, LSU and Southern all have canceled games due to Katrina's wake.
Stories hit the wire about how many of some of our favorite professional athletes' hometowns were effected by Katrina. Camera crews followed Brett Farve as he surveyed storm-strewn Kiln, Miss. NBA players hastily gathered in Houston, putting up $10,000 of their own money each, to play a charity game to raise money. George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton hit the airwaves to raise funds.
Something felt missing, however. It seemed as though some stories were not being told, let alone being told enough. People read about LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell put up blues legend Fats Domino in his on-campus apartment for a spell, where Domino later hooked up with family friends after being rescued. The story of Southeastern's Keithshone Dantzler, however, was not given to as large of an audience.
Lions' head coach Dennis Roland's voice was dripped with concern when he said one of his players went unaccounted for after the hurricane. Dantzler went to New Orleans to be with his mother before the storm hit, but Roland said he could not get out of the city in time. Dantzler made contact days after the storm and he and his mother are safe.
Chicago Bulls' guard Chris Duhon, a Slidell native, did not have a televised tour of his hometown after the storm. Duhon sent supplies back home and talked about stories he had heard. One of those stories was probably the condition of the town and Salmen High, his alma mater. St. Thomas Aquinas football coach Randy Johnson said he has a son that lives next to Salmen and gave him an update on the school.
"When I tell you there's no Salmen High School, there's no Salmen High School," Johnson said.
Peyton and Eli Manning sent supplies to evacuees and visited them in Baton Rouge. Cameras were there, with reporters in tow. Little to no ink on Marshall Faulk, who came out of the Ninth Ward's Desire Street Housing Projects to become a future Hall of Famer and has given thousands of dollars back to his old neighborhood. No real coverage on how the storm affected athletes like Indianapolis Colts receiver Reggie Wayne of Marrero, WNBA Rookie of the Year Tameka Johnson of New Orleans or World Wrestling Entertainment performer John Heidenreich of New Orleans.
Even Shaq himself, the giant man he is, received a smidgen of coverage as he and his wife shipped supplies to evacuees. Nothing was made of the fact that NBA pariah Ron Artest was one of those players in that charity game in Houston, and reports from people there said Artest was the nicest guy there. Stephon Marbury friggin' cried as he announce he was donating between $500,000 and $1 million to relief efforts, and Marbury's from Brooklyn.
Any network TV interviews? Any extended coverage? There could have been - with all the channels satellite and digital cable television provides - but it was probably few and far between.
It is refreshing to know that these spoiled, egotistical, me-first professional athletes do know what truly is important to life. It is refreshing to know that these people who make these ludicrous sums of money and have literally everything show they actually care and put for the effort to help those who have absolutely nothing but each other right now. It is also situations like these that show the rest of the world that athletes and other celebrities are just as vulnerable to disaster as everyday people, and they are not as removed from reality as some think.
It is unfortunate the general public is not seeing or hearing it all, and probably will not see or hear it either.
Now, as Hurricane Rita bears down on southwest Louisiana and south Texas, you wonder if more coverage will be devoted to how Roger Clemens fared while stories about George Foreman, Donald Driver, Keenan McCardell and others get brushed to the back pages.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Another One of Fred's Katrina Adventure's: A Whoadette
All this Hurricane Katrina (the baddest bitch) mess went a whole new level for me, somewhat.All over a whoadette--a female from New Orleans--a.k.a--Whoadieland.
Picture it: Baton Rouge, 1998. Carefree guy being a summer counselor for a high school program. The whoadette was student at Southern at the time. We met through a mutual friend, a co-worker of mine, and we were kicking it hard during that summer.
But she left the yard to attend another school, and I got into a relationship/got out of a relationship months later. We'd run into each other during homecoming or Bayou Classic, and it just had that same vibe seeing her years later as I did when we first met.
We kept communicating after she left, I even wrote a letter to her. She told me on several occasions she still had it and reads it from time to time. She also remembers things about me and vice versa. When I became a taxpaying citizen and got the young cell phone...we talked more and caught up on what each other was doing.
To some, she could be the one that got away. To me, I don't know. Can't miss what you really didn't have, I guess. But then, Katrina came through the N.O. The storm caused levees to break, which y'all know flooded out a good bit of Whoadieland. I know the area she lived in was flooded because she told me it was off Elysian Fields down the street from Dillard and the University of New Orleans.
I hope she, like all my other Whoadieland friends/associates/drinking patnas, and her loved ones made it out alright. The storm has sort've reinforced the notion I've held that enjoy the company of people because you never know when the next time you'll see them. It has also made me somewhat nostalgic, something rare for me. Remembering people, places, events, drinks and some good times. At least I'm glad a Category 4 storm cannot flood away all of that. Memories are better than nothing, jack.
Picture it: Baton Rouge, 1998. Carefree guy being a summer counselor for a high school program. The whoadette was student at Southern at the time. We met through a mutual friend, a co-worker of mine, and we were kicking it hard during that summer.
But she left the yard to attend another school, and I got into a relationship/got out of a relationship months later. We'd run into each other during homecoming or Bayou Classic, and it just had that same vibe seeing her years later as I did when we first met.
We kept communicating after she left, I even wrote a letter to her. She told me on several occasions she still had it and reads it from time to time. She also remembers things about me and vice versa. When I became a taxpaying citizen and got the young cell phone...we talked more and caught up on what each other was doing.
To some, she could be the one that got away. To me, I don't know. Can't miss what you really didn't have, I guess. But then, Katrina came through the N.O. The storm caused levees to break, which y'all know flooded out a good bit of Whoadieland. I know the area she lived in was flooded because she told me it was off Elysian Fields down the street from Dillard and the University of New Orleans.
I hope she, like all my other Whoadieland friends/associates/drinking patnas, and her loved ones made it out alright. The storm has sort've reinforced the notion I've held that enjoy the company of people because you never know when the next time you'll see them. It has also made me somewhat nostalgic, something rare for me. Remembering people, places, events, drinks and some good times. At least I'm glad a Category 4 storm cannot flood away all of that. Memories are better than nothing, jack.
Fred's 2005 SWAC football preview
This ran in the Hammond (La.) Daily Star Aug. 28, 2005. But for obvious reasons (the Hurricane), I wasn't able to get this online...
The quest for the 2005 Southwestern Athletic Conference title features just as many question marks and storylines than the conference probably has teams.
Of the 10-team conference, only three - defending champion Alabama State, runnerup Southern and Grambling State - have very realistic shots at hoisting the championship trophy Dec. 10 in Birmingham, Ala. All three have question marks, but not as pronounced as the other seven schools.
The Hornets and Tigers were picked by several media outlets to win the SWAC's eastern and western divisions, respectively. However, many perils lie in wait to thwart prognosticators during the season including the newly reinforced 9-game mandate. That means all teams must play each other, also rendering the conference championship game a redundant rematch (how it got to that point is a whole other story).
Predicting an order of finish for a conference's football season is too, well mundane. Here's one better, briefly discussing some issues that may prevent these teams from becoming champion this season.
Alabama State has the SWAC's best quarterback-tailback duo in seniors Tarvaris Jackson in Keldrick Williams, but have to replace their top two receivers, three offensive lineman and five defensive starters. One of those starters was linebacker Rock Dillon, the conference's defensive player of the year in 2004.
Linebacker Billy Gresham was named preseason defensive player of the year over returning performers such as Alabama A&M linebacker Johnny Baldwin, Mississippi Valley State linebacker Jarette Prout and Amite's Cletis Gordon, cornerback/return specialist for Jackson State. Jackson, who was second in the SWAC in total offense in 2004, was named preseason player offensive player of the year and Williams, led the SWAC in rushing two years running averaging 1,100 yards each season. Throw fullback Robert Randolph in the mix with Jackson and Williams, and the Hornets should not have to worry about offensive production.
Gresham and linebacker Chris Dupuy solidify an experienced front seven and experienced players will be in the secondary, but it will probably be enough to outlast the teams in the SWAC's Eastern Division. It may be different when facing the SWAC's Louisiana contingent.
Grambling returns two-time Payton Award finalist Bruce Eugene at quarterback, but it may not be enough for the Tigers to reclaim the SWAC title. Eugene, a senior, suffered a season-ending knee injury in the season opener last season. Grambling muddled their way through 2004 to notch a 6-5 record, knocking off rival Southern in the Bayou Classic to earn that sixth win.
Eugene's presence may possibly cause a quarterback controversy in Lincoln Parish. Last year's starter, true sophomore Brandon Landers, threw for over 2,000 yards as a freshman. Some of the Grambling faithful might call for Landers if Eugene does not show the form that made him one of I-AA's top quarterbacks.
The Tigers discovered they had the tools to make a powerful rushing attack late in the season, utilizing tailback Ab Kuuan and fullback Ruben Mayes finding holes provided by consensus All-American Jonathan Banks and a mammoth offensive line.
Grambling also returns wide receivers Tim Abney and Moses Harris from season-ending injuries, who will figure prominently in another possible conflict - whether to air it out with Eugene and the receivers or pound it out with Kuuan and Mayes. The Tigers must first find an offensive identity before it gets too late, like last season, and find themselves out of the hunt for the West title.
The defensive line lost All-American Kenneth Pettway but gains defensive tackle Lennard Patten, an academic casualty last season. South Carolina transfer Moe Thompson, who lands at Grambling after running afoul with law enforcement in the Palmetto State, will start on the defensive line as well. The defense will need another leader like Pettway if it wants to get back to what Tigers fans refer to as "Gramblingham, Alabama."
Southern breaks in its third new quarterback in as many season, but the last two starters before redshirt sophomore J.C. Lewis only won SWAC Offensive Player of the Year and led the Jaguars to the last two SWAC title games. The entire offense, led by first-team All-SWAC wide receiver James Vernon, is virtually intact and looks ready to make a case for I-AA's top offensive unit.
The defense is the big question mark, having lost experienced guys in the much-maligned front seven and in the secondary. Head coach Pete Richardson will look toward the return of veterans like Kevin Mack, along with young players like freshman defensive backs Randy Thomas and Michael Williams to make major contributions to the Jaguars.
Another note: Southern under Richardson have been great in odd-numbered years. The Jaguars won 11 or more games in 1993, 1995, 1997, 1999 and 2003. The only aberration, a 7-4 record in 2001. Look for the defending Western Division champions to have a say in who takes home the crown this season, if the defense holds. The west will be decided, as it has always been, at the Bayou Classic.
Alabama A&M's defense seems to always be one of Division I-AA's best, but the Bulldogs' offense has been its Achilles heel. Bulldogs fans are long-starved for a breakthrough in the SWAC East under head coach Anthony Jones, but it seems as though Alabama A&M are the SWAC's version of Texas - their season gets thrashed after losing to their main rival. The Bulldogs must take that step to get into the SWAC title hunt by knocking off Alabama State in the Magic City Classic, but it won't happen for one reason - the Hornets' offense can consistently put up points while the Bulldogs' offense cannot.
Baldwin leads an experienced front seven while Leveronte Turner and Jamerson Baker are back in the secondary. The front seven is the Bulldogs' strong suit, able to make even the most cold-blooded quarterback get happy feet because of the pressure. The secondary goes through too many mental lapses, like the one that resulted in Southern's game-winning touchdown pass a year ago in Huntsville, to stay consistent.
Mississippi Valley State would have won the Division I-AA national championship if college football games only lasted two or three quarters, but football games have four quarters - which the Delta Devils often failed to show up for. Recent College Football Hall of Fame inductee, Valley head coach/former quarterback/school icon Willie Totten, has vowed to turn quarterback Aries Nelson, 2004 SWAC Newcomer of the Year, and his array of receivers into the 2005 revival of the famed "Satellite Express" offense. That offense, the wide open offense that put Itta Bena on the map in the early 1980s, got Totten's favorite receiver noticed by and drafted by the San Francisco 49ers. Besides, the Delta Devils' stadium isn't named Rice-Totten by some stroke of luck.
Prout and fellow linebacker Tyler Knight are tackling machines that provided the base for the SWAC's fourth-best defense. This team experienced growing pains last season as they constantly failed to finish the job in the second half in close games. The Delta Devils can only improve, but that depends on how much they tire out on both sides of the ball. Valley is still a year away from really contending for the East crown, unless they backslide away from the momentum being built this season.
Alcorn State returns one of I-AA's best wide receiver duos in Charlie Spiller and Nate Hughes, but who is going to throw them the ball? The answer could be true freshman Tony Hobson, who thwarted his hometown Jackson State Tigers to don the purple and gold of the Eastern Division rival. It could be the start of another era at Alcorn because the school's top two career passers - Donald Carrie and a certain Tennessee Titans quarterback - both were 4-year starters.
Inexperience at running back will hurt the offense, just as the lack of experience at linebacker will hurt the Braves whenever they try to stop the run. The Braves were terrible against the run last year. Taurian Banks and Quentin Sullivan are good corners, but in a conference where there are a lot of 4- or 5-receiver sets, two good corners are not enough. Expect the Braves' secondary to get "Air Raided" this season.
Arkansas-Pine Bluff went 6-3 last season and look poised to make more noise, but that record came without playing Southern or Alcorn State (another story regarding the 9-game mandate). Head coach Mo Forte turned the Golden Lions around, but this season will be different as UAPB loses its top rushers and some key defensive players. Southern and Alcorn are also on the schedule this year.
History doesn't bode well for UAPB as well. Forte led a similar resurgence at North Carolina A&T, going 9-3 in 1986, but the Aggies went 3-8 the following year.
The Golden Lions will have three seniors on the defensive line, but only return one starter in the secondary. Having only one veteran in the secondary in the SWAC is literally begging the scoreboard operator to spot the opposing team 30 or more points. That, coupled with being in the West with Southern and Grambling, only spells trouble.
Prairie View was not the cupcake last season, but the euphoria of their 3-win Cinderella season will get erased quickly, just like their 2-0 start was erased quickly by Southern last season. The Panthers could compete for the SWAC West title in about three years, if they can increase their win totals by one each season. One small victory for any other school is one huge victory for Prairie View.
Jackson State's only won six of 23 football games in the last two seasons, but beleaguered head coach James Bell might just throw everything and the kitchen sink at the conference in order to come up with a winning season and save his job, yet alone beat the last-place predictions and win the SWAC East. Hey, when there is a 2-year-old Web site called www.BellGottaGo.com promising visitors it's returning bigger and better, then that's an indication of a coach that has alienated Tigers fans could call on desperate measures.
Those desperate measures might include Gordon, a consensus preseason All-American, could possibly see time at corner, wide receiver, equipment manager, ticket salesperson or athletic director if it means the Tigers will get above .500 and compete for the SWAC championship. That will not happen, because the damage caused by the worst two-year stretch in J-State history will be too much to overcome this year. This program needs CPR.
Texas Southern's 0-fer last season will not be repeated this , but don't expect the Tigers to just go from 0-11 to contending for the SWAC West title overnight. They bring some experienced players back on defense, but the offense looked awful at times. The crash-and-burn of last season even has Prairie View fans looking forward to beating up on the Tigers in the Labor Day Classic in Houston.
The quest for the 2005 Southwestern Athletic Conference title features just as many question marks and storylines than the conference probably has teams.
Of the 10-team conference, only three - defending champion Alabama State, runnerup Southern and Grambling State - have very realistic shots at hoisting the championship trophy Dec. 10 in Birmingham, Ala. All three have question marks, but not as pronounced as the other seven schools.
The Hornets and Tigers were picked by several media outlets to win the SWAC's eastern and western divisions, respectively. However, many perils lie in wait to thwart prognosticators during the season including the newly reinforced 9-game mandate. That means all teams must play each other, also rendering the conference championship game a redundant rematch (how it got to that point is a whole other story).
Predicting an order of finish for a conference's football season is too, well mundane. Here's one better, briefly discussing some issues that may prevent these teams from becoming champion this season.
Alabama State has the SWAC's best quarterback-tailback duo in seniors Tarvaris Jackson in Keldrick Williams, but have to replace their top two receivers, three offensive lineman and five defensive starters. One of those starters was linebacker Rock Dillon, the conference's defensive player of the year in 2004.
Linebacker Billy Gresham was named preseason defensive player of the year over returning performers such as Alabama A&M linebacker Johnny Baldwin, Mississippi Valley State linebacker Jarette Prout and Amite's Cletis Gordon, cornerback/return specialist for Jackson State. Jackson, who was second in the SWAC in total offense in 2004, was named preseason player offensive player of the year and Williams, led the SWAC in rushing two years running averaging 1,100 yards each season. Throw fullback Robert Randolph in the mix with Jackson and Williams, and the Hornets should not have to worry about offensive production.
Gresham and linebacker Chris Dupuy solidify an experienced front seven and experienced players will be in the secondary, but it will probably be enough to outlast the teams in the SWAC's Eastern Division. It may be different when facing the SWAC's Louisiana contingent.
Grambling returns two-time Payton Award finalist Bruce Eugene at quarterback, but it may not be enough for the Tigers to reclaim the SWAC title. Eugene, a senior, suffered a season-ending knee injury in the season opener last season. Grambling muddled their way through 2004 to notch a 6-5 record, knocking off rival Southern in the Bayou Classic to earn that sixth win.
Eugene's presence may possibly cause a quarterback controversy in Lincoln Parish. Last year's starter, true sophomore Brandon Landers, threw for over 2,000 yards as a freshman. Some of the Grambling faithful might call for Landers if Eugene does not show the form that made him one of I-AA's top quarterbacks.
The Tigers discovered they had the tools to make a powerful rushing attack late in the season, utilizing tailback Ab Kuuan and fullback Ruben Mayes finding holes provided by consensus All-American Jonathan Banks and a mammoth offensive line.
Grambling also returns wide receivers Tim Abney and Moses Harris from season-ending injuries, who will figure prominently in another possible conflict - whether to air it out with Eugene and the receivers or pound it out with Kuuan and Mayes. The Tigers must first find an offensive identity before it gets too late, like last season, and find themselves out of the hunt for the West title.
The defensive line lost All-American Kenneth Pettway but gains defensive tackle Lennard Patten, an academic casualty last season. South Carolina transfer Moe Thompson, who lands at Grambling after running afoul with law enforcement in the Palmetto State, will start on the defensive line as well. The defense will need another leader like Pettway if it wants to get back to what Tigers fans refer to as "Gramblingham, Alabama."
Southern breaks in its third new quarterback in as many season, but the last two starters before redshirt sophomore J.C. Lewis only won SWAC Offensive Player of the Year and led the Jaguars to the last two SWAC title games. The entire offense, led by first-team All-SWAC wide receiver James Vernon, is virtually intact and looks ready to make a case for I-AA's top offensive unit.
The defense is the big question mark, having lost experienced guys in the much-maligned front seven and in the secondary. Head coach Pete Richardson will look toward the return of veterans like Kevin Mack, along with young players like freshman defensive backs Randy Thomas and Michael Williams to make major contributions to the Jaguars.
Another note: Southern under Richardson have been great in odd-numbered years. The Jaguars won 11 or more games in 1993, 1995, 1997, 1999 and 2003. The only aberration, a 7-4 record in 2001. Look for the defending Western Division champions to have a say in who takes home the crown this season, if the defense holds. The west will be decided, as it has always been, at the Bayou Classic.
Alabama A&M's defense seems to always be one of Division I-AA's best, but the Bulldogs' offense has been its Achilles heel. Bulldogs fans are long-starved for a breakthrough in the SWAC East under head coach Anthony Jones, but it seems as though Alabama A&M are the SWAC's version of Texas - their season gets thrashed after losing to their main rival. The Bulldogs must take that step to get into the SWAC title hunt by knocking off Alabama State in the Magic City Classic, but it won't happen for one reason - the Hornets' offense can consistently put up points while the Bulldogs' offense cannot.
Baldwin leads an experienced front seven while Leveronte Turner and Jamerson Baker are back in the secondary. The front seven is the Bulldogs' strong suit, able to make even the most cold-blooded quarterback get happy feet because of the pressure. The secondary goes through too many mental lapses, like the one that resulted in Southern's game-winning touchdown pass a year ago in Huntsville, to stay consistent.
Mississippi Valley State would have won the Division I-AA national championship if college football games only lasted two or three quarters, but football games have four quarters - which the Delta Devils often failed to show up for. Recent College Football Hall of Fame inductee, Valley head coach/former quarterback/school icon Willie Totten, has vowed to turn quarterback Aries Nelson, 2004 SWAC Newcomer of the Year, and his array of receivers into the 2005 revival of the famed "Satellite Express" offense. That offense, the wide open offense that put Itta Bena on the map in the early 1980s, got Totten's favorite receiver noticed by and drafted by the San Francisco 49ers. Besides, the Delta Devils' stadium isn't named Rice-Totten by some stroke of luck.
Prout and fellow linebacker Tyler Knight are tackling machines that provided the base for the SWAC's fourth-best defense. This team experienced growing pains last season as they constantly failed to finish the job in the second half in close games. The Delta Devils can only improve, but that depends on how much they tire out on both sides of the ball. Valley is still a year away from really contending for the East crown, unless they backslide away from the momentum being built this season.
Alcorn State returns one of I-AA's best wide receiver duos in Charlie Spiller and Nate Hughes, but who is going to throw them the ball? The answer could be true freshman Tony Hobson, who thwarted his hometown Jackson State Tigers to don the purple and gold of the Eastern Division rival. It could be the start of another era at Alcorn because the school's top two career passers - Donald Carrie and a certain Tennessee Titans quarterback - both were 4-year starters.
Inexperience at running back will hurt the offense, just as the lack of experience at linebacker will hurt the Braves whenever they try to stop the run. The Braves were terrible against the run last year. Taurian Banks and Quentin Sullivan are good corners, but in a conference where there are a lot of 4- or 5-receiver sets, two good corners are not enough. Expect the Braves' secondary to get "Air Raided" this season.
Arkansas-Pine Bluff went 6-3 last season and look poised to make more noise, but that record came without playing Southern or Alcorn State (another story regarding the 9-game mandate). Head coach Mo Forte turned the Golden Lions around, but this season will be different as UAPB loses its top rushers and some key defensive players. Southern and Alcorn are also on the schedule this year.
History doesn't bode well for UAPB as well. Forte led a similar resurgence at North Carolina A&T, going 9-3 in 1986, but the Aggies went 3-8 the following year.
The Golden Lions will have three seniors on the defensive line, but only return one starter in the secondary. Having only one veteran in the secondary in the SWAC is literally begging the scoreboard operator to spot the opposing team 30 or more points. That, coupled with being in the West with Southern and Grambling, only spells trouble.
Prairie View was not the cupcake last season, but the euphoria of their 3-win Cinderella season will get erased quickly, just like their 2-0 start was erased quickly by Southern last season. The Panthers could compete for the SWAC West title in about three years, if they can increase their win totals by one each season. One small victory for any other school is one huge victory for Prairie View.
Jackson State's only won six of 23 football games in the last two seasons, but beleaguered head coach James Bell might just throw everything and the kitchen sink at the conference in order to come up with a winning season and save his job, yet alone beat the last-place predictions and win the SWAC East. Hey, when there is a 2-year-old Web site called www.BellGottaGo.com promising visitors it's returning bigger and better, then that's an indication of a coach that has alienated Tigers fans could call on desperate measures.
Those desperate measures might include Gordon, a consensus preseason All-American, could possibly see time at corner, wide receiver, equipment manager, ticket salesperson or athletic director if it means the Tigers will get above .500 and compete for the SWAC championship. That will not happen, because the damage caused by the worst two-year stretch in J-State history will be too much to overcome this year. This program needs CPR.
Texas Southern's 0-fer last season will not be repeated this , but don't expect the Tigers to just go from 0-11 to contending for the SWAC West title overnight. They bring some experienced players back on defense, but the offense looked awful at times. The crash-and-burn of last season even has Prairie View fans looking forward to beating up on the Tigers in the Labor Day Classic in Houston.
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