Sunday, May 28, 2006

Slant-N-Go: 2-for-1 deal

Psst...hey you, the reader.
Do you ever find yourself wanting more out of what you are reading, but just cannot figure how to get get your selected readings chock full of entertaining tidbits. Well, the sick minds at Slant & Go Enterprises have an offer for you.
The brain mistrust that brought you "Slant & Go at the Movies" is going to temporarily break down that fourth wall thing that exists in theater--by presenting this one-time offer. Yes folks, S&G is presenting a 2-for-1 special.
Yes, two opinions for the space of one. It's two ideas replacing one, becoming one cohesive unit like peanut butter and jelly, Bert and Ernie, ivy and Wrigley Field, R. Kelly and videotapes and Mike Tyson and insanity.
First off, let's discuss Southeastern's upcoming football season. More importantly, let's discuss the Lions' nonconference slate for the upcoming season.
Whereas most Division I-AA schools "play up" once per season, the Lions tripled that by landing three Division I-A schools on the schedule this season. The Lions open the season in Las Cruces, M. Mex., when they take on former coach Hal Mumme and New Mexico State Aug. 21. The next game is a trip up Interstate 59 to Hattiesburg and Southern Miss Sept. 9. The whopper is a Sept. 23 trip to Lubbock, Texas to take on Texas Tech--a team that finished 2005 in the Top 20 in the Associated Press and USA Today/ESPN polls.
The Lions fit in home games against Jacksonville (Sept. 16) and Gardner Webb (Sept. 30) before opening Southland Conference play in October.
Lions coach Dennis Roland said it is not easy for a I-AA program like Southeastern to schedule games against their I-A counterparts. These games give his team a chance to gain a measure of exposure against the "higher level" of NCAA college football.
For Division I-AA programs, games against I-A programs also serve as major fundraisers that some in the sports world call "Rent-A-Wins." However, the prospects of pulling of a Maine vs. Mississippi State upset are few and far between. Coaches sometimes hope to get through the game with a strong showing and no players receiving major injuries, all while making sure the check clears.
New Mexico State went winless last season, and the Lions should win that game. However, Southern Miss and Texas Tech--bowl teams last season--will be tougher tasks. Sure, the Lions will collect a nice chunk of change for their "services," but it's all a part of the business known as Division I football.
OK, it's now time to get to the second part of this exclusive offer. Let's now talk about mercy in football, which is something like Bill Gates running into you in front of a grocery store and asking you for change for a $20.
The Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference, the Nutmeg State's equivalent to the LHSAA, adopted a "score management" policy that will suspend coaches whose teams win by more than 50 points.
The CIAC rule, also called the "Jack Cochran rule," was put in place after the New London High won four games by 50 or more points last season--including winning a game by the paltry tally of 90-0 over Griswold. In case you didn't figure it out, Jack Cochran is New London's coach.
According to reports, the head coach of the offending team will get disqualified from coaching the next game.
Yes, Connecticut's the same state where a professor of one of the state colleges was quoted in Sports Illustrated in 2001 saying dodgeball "encourages the best to pick on the weak." However, that's not the point.
Under this policy, Evangel's Dennis Dunn would have had to skip the Eagles second-round playoff game after plastering Hamilton Christian 70-0 in the first round of the playoffs.
Football is the one sport that capitalizes on incorporating war and military ideals the most. Think about it, you have blitzing and sacking the quarterback. Throwing the long bomb or the quick strike to gain the upper hand. Having good ground and air attacks to make the opponent submit to your will and breaking the opponent's will. One team imposing its will on its weaker opponent.
If Team A is beating Team B by more than three touchdowns, simply just start a running clock, get the cheerleaders and band members on the field and just keep playing. At least that used to be the mentality.
The CIAC is establishing a dangerous precedent here. What's next, allowing the team getting drubbed 46-0 to score 13-point touchdowns in order to make the score closer? High school basketball teams can't get a 30-point lead or greater in a game?
Besides, there are only two ways a team prevents being on the receiving end of a blowout-- get better or just simply drop football, period.

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